Why I Survived The Problems and Challenges of Life

Hardships are part of our lives, whether we like it or not. It might make you strong or might make you want to give up. It depends on how we take those hardships and how we deal with it. I myself encountered so many hardships and still experiencing them. There are times where I really just want to give up but the list below are the thing’s I’ve done to endure everything for the sake of my family and especially for the sake of myself.

  1. Think Twice Before You Act, Before You Speak. Learn how to weigh the situation before you take an action. Always think of the consequences, will it be good for you or will it further damage you? Thinking before opening your mouth wouldn’t hurt, instead it will teach you to be witty and patient.
  2. Shrugged It Off. When you are about to give up the last straw that you are holding after all the things you’ve been through, well stop right there! You’ve endured a lot already why give up now? You suffered already why not continue it?I mean, you should fight on your suffering or just shrugged it off and tell to yourself “One more time buddy, let’s show who really the boss is!” In my language “Todo na ‘to!”, meaning push yourself further.
  3. Stick To Your Goals. Just because you are not achieving your goals yet you will create a new set of goals. No. Believe me it will only hurt you. Stick to your goals, even if there’s so many trials and the roads are rough, if you set your mind on achieving it you will achieve it. And once you achieved your set of goals, you can make another one if you want.
  4. One At A Time. Multi-tasking is good, it will help you finish on time and train you to work with minimal supervision with accurate outcome. BUT don’t multi-task on handling your problems and dealing with the hardships you are currently going through. Solving life problems is similar to solving math problems. You need to solve the first one before you move to the next one until you finish it all. Solving problems all at the same time will give you sleepless nights and endless headaches. Solve one problem but do not forget the others. Be cautious and always let yourself breathe.
  5. Don’t Pity Yourself. Stop making yourself more depressed and stressed, what you are going through are enough, don’t add and stir drama. Pitying yourself will only make the situation worst, you won’t be able to move forward and it will be too late to go back. So self pity will just leave you hanging in the air, lost and demotivated. Stand strong and don’t let yourself down, Always think you are still fortunate compared to other people who are suffering worst than you are but still managing to fight the battle and never loses hope.
  6. Love Of Families And Friends. Never be embarrassed of what is happening to you, don’t keep it by yourself. Talk to your families and friends, even if they can’t help you financially, they can help you emotionally. Money cannot buy the sincerity and care by the people who truly love you. Sure money is important but their love, support, effort, understanding and words can keep you calm and stay strong and motivated. A hug from them is more than enough to fight.
  7. Believe In Yourself. Just what like Sailor Venus says “Just believe in yourself and nobody can’t beat you!”, Your self is your own enemy. So just keep on moving forward and help yourself go through those hardships. Even if no one believes in you, you need to believe in your self and prove them wrong. Believing what you are capable of is the best way to achieve your goals and endure any hardships that will come to you.
  8. Talk To Him. Submit everything to HIM. HE knows what your heart truly desires. No matter where you are and what you are doing, you can always talk to HIM and ask for peace of mind, heart and guidance.

I talked about giving up is sometimes a good thing in my previous post, but that situation is different, so in life and in this post I will say that you should not give up. Problems and hardships are included in our life already from the very first day when we were born. You just have to play the game well and not be eaten by negative aura and demons. Always look at the brighter side. And remember, after battling with those hardships, good things will start to come.

There’s a rainbow always after the rain. Always keep that in mind and in your heart.

(Potential) Signs Of Being Abused In A Relationship

Have you ever been in a toxic and abusive relationship with someone? Have you tried fixing it or you are just inlove with the idea of being in a relationship and ignored the signs and red flags?

Couples at the beginning are full of love and joy, smile and laughters are endless. Those dates and late hang outs makes your heart flutter. Those hugs and kisses are too hard to end–until you came to know each other too well.

I have been in a toxic relationship before and thankfully not abusive but I can tell that you will not realize it’s toxic unless you are totally out of that relationship. Signs that you are in a toxic relationship (abused POV):

  1. It’s always your fault no matter what he/she did to you (talking about physically and mentally, let’s add emotionally), it’s always your fault. You always feel at fault all the time.
  2. You are mad at him/her when he/she cheated on you or do something bad but fall for him/her even harder when he/she “explained” to you and denied everything.
  3. You put him/her first before anyone else. Before anything else, even if it means loosing your dreams and goals especially your life and career.
  4. You don’t respect yourself anymore and just beg for his/her forgiveness, beg for him/her to not go (top of the list!)
  5. You know the truth but still choose to be blinded by your love ( or is it really love?)
  6. You will seek advice and comfort from your friends but won’t listen and choose to stay with him/her even you know for yourself it’s not healthy anymore. Even if it means losing your friends and family.

How to get away with it? Well it’s not easy, some people are abusive either, emotionally or physically. It’s even harder if it’s both. It may be easy to say this and I know it is hard:

  1. But always trust your guts, don’t wait until it’s too late.
  2. ALWAYS LOVE YOURSELF FIRST.
  3. It’s okay to be afraid, it’s fine if you are afraid of him/her but always remember you have friends and family you can run in to.
  4. It’s hard but you have to help yourself, you have to step up for yourself and for your future.
  5. Don’t be denial and delusional. It’s hard to do this but you have to give it a try. Think of your happy times before you met him/her. You are happy even before he/she came to your life so you could do it also even when he/she isn’t there anymore.
  6. Go out and have some fun, breathe some air and laugh (don’t laugh alone please lol). Don’t sulk in and don’t let depression eat you.
  7. Always remember you are loved by many.

It’s really hard to get out of a toxic and unhealthy relationship, you just have to stay strong for your dreams and future with your family and friends. Be vocal, even if you can see your friends and family getting irritated and annoyed when you open your mouth to talk about him/her, it’s fine. They are not mad at you, they are concerned to the point of saying hurtful words to you just so you wake up from the nightmare you allowed to dream of. It’s okay to give up, sometimes giving up is not a sign of being a coward, sometimes it’s a sign of being strong because you are getting your self out from the situation that may drag you down. Especially when you are fighting to save your relationship yet he/she isn’t.

Giving up your life? Getting tired of it? Nahhh– run to your friends and family, they will give you a lot of reason to move forward.

We are here for you.

I’AM HERE FOR YOU.

I’m Not Okay But It’s Okay

I was walking yesterday to clear up my mind, thinking whether what I’m doing is right or wrong. I have lots of issues I’m struggling to fight with right now. I always seem to complain in everything. Like EVERYTHING! I’m too sensitive and always end up being emotionally stressed out and dramatic. I tend to be grumpy most of the time nowadays. Even in text messages, a person can clearly know that I’m irritated or not in a good mood.

Then I decided to do these things to get out of the spot I created:

  1. I decided to go for a walk so I won’t allow my self to further hit the red button (becoming depressed).
  2. Indulge myself by buying me a booba and a piece of cake. (Cheat day it is!)
  3. Enjoy the breeze of the cold and gentle wind that touches my skin.
  4. Gaze up and appreciate the beauty of the sky.
  5. Oh and did I mentioned walk with your friend?Yes! Big help to have someone accompany you. Having someone beside you helps a lot. Most especially if your friend talks non-stop. Like you are having your own issues yet you are listening to other people’s issues.

Those are just simple and basics but surely you will automatically feel at peace, relaxed and start to become positive again. It helped me cleared up my mind and thought that maybe I’m like that because I was inside the house most of the time.

I realized we are just like the sky above us. Life is not all about joy and laughter it’s not always morning. Gloomy days, evening time will come and it’s okay, we are not perfect, we are humans who have emotions and feelings but always remember that it’s your choice whether to stay on that spot or not. It will not even cost you that much if you want to fight that issues and throw it in a bin. You don’t need a fancy tour, all you need is a courage to step out, appreciate life and continue building the better version of you.

My Ghostly Experience

Do you believe in ghosts or you are kinda skeptical about it?

I was about 5 years old when I first encountered them, I was inside the washroom, sitting on the bowl and infront of me was the drainage, I was playfully swinging my feet when I suddenly saw a bubbles coming out of the drainage until it forms into a blood I got so scared I ran to our room, opened the door, shut it closed and cried on my mom while hugging her. She asked me what happened and then I told her what I saw, she then went on the door to check and when she opened it, there’s traces of blood on the carpet from the washroom til the door of our room, as if it was following me.

When I was in college, my grandmother died and we traveled to my mom’s town to pay respect. After the funeral, we still stayed there for a couple of days without my friends knowing it (the extension), I was talking with my relatives when I received a message from one of my friends and asked how am I, I told her the situation and will be back after weekends, she kept on asking me if I’m telling the truth, got annoyed and asked her why is she being like that. Then she told me that one of our friend’s family saw me in a mall and greeted them and said I even kissed the youngest sibling of my friend. I told her no I’m still out of town and the mall where her family claimed that they saw me was far from where I’m living. It’s weird and creepy coz IT kissed her sister. They said it’s a doppelganger. After that incident, I got safely to my dorm. My roommates are not there so I’m alone, I decided to take a nap since I was so exhausted. I dreamed of someone opening the door and a woman in white entered my room, pulled the chair on my study table and sat there. I suddenly woke up and there I saw the door widely opened and my chair was moved as if someone just sat there. Is it a dream or it really happened?

Still in college, I kept on hearing voices calling my name. When I was about to ride a bus I heard my mom’s voice calling my name but she’s like hundreds of miles away from me, other times when I was walking inside the university I can hear kid’s voice calling out to me. One day I was inside my dorm when I received a phone call, I said “Hello” and it got creepy when I heard a woman’s voice mimicking the way I said hello and she kept on saying hello several times with a playful tone of voice until it got cut. I tried to call the number but the operator says the number is not registered—not unattended–not cannot be reached but not registered, I got scared and got afraid to be alone for a period of time.

I was on a tour in Baguio Philippines as part of my course, my roommates already taken a bath and when it was my turn I smelled a guy’s perfume inside the bathroom, I just shrugged it off and thought our guy friend visited us in our room, I was preparing the tub when I saw an image at the mirror, I looked at it and nothing was there so I thought I was just seeing things, when I was about to be finished I saw someone peeked at the mirror and when I looked at it there’s letters written on the mirror, I don’t know if it’s initials or just randoms words. I got scared a bit and hurriedly go out of the bathroom, my roommates looked at me and asked what happened, maybe it shows on my face that I was scared. I told them what happened and when they looked at the mirror, the letters are not there anymore. I also asked them if our guy friend went inside our room they all said no one visited our room. I just didn’t say anything after that.

It was weekend and I decided to go home, my mom and my dad told me that my little brother are so afraid and scared as he always see a woman outside of our house—no definite time. So when I arrived around 7:00pm-ish, we closed the door and the windows and the curtain because my brother is really afraid at that time. We were sitting face to face and chatting when I suddenly felt a gust of wind on my back and got chills and I felt right at that moment that someone or something was standing behind me. I saw my brother’s eyes widened and told him not to say anything. He put his hands on his mouth while looking at me, teary eyes. I was so stoned but managed to hold my brother’s knees. Here’s the thing, my mom was just steps away from us and watching T.V, we are really so afraid when I called my mom, she looked at us and asked why? I don’t know but she suddenly ran outside and kept on asking us why and what is happening hahahaha we are so scared that we just laughed at my mom’s reaction. We told her what happened and my brother told me that it’s the first time the woman went inside of our house. He cannot believe that I felt it before he saw the woman standing behind me.

I have lots of lots of experience with them but those are few that still gives me chills whenever I remember those incidents, right now I’m having chills just by writing it down. I just pray and keep rosary with me. It’s my protection from those spirits.

What is your scariest experience with them?

Believe It, It’s Unbelievable!

“One day’s burden is enough for one day” – Matthew 6:34.

I decided to watch the series Unbelievable in Netflix yesterday and it really affected me emotionally. I was thinking maybe other people are in this kind of situation. In the situation where MARIE experienced it for years.

The story is all about a girl, raped, bullied and outcasted by the people around her, people whom she cared and trusted. She was raped, accused and charged for falsifying her claims of rape because there was no evidence collected at the crime scene, no suspect and her demeanor after the incident was off.

At first everyone sympathizes with her, but because of how the way she act and her attitude made her former foster parent doubt and discussed about it to the police which later on resulted for them to believe the foster parent.

Unknowingly, another similar incidents happened and two detectives who happened to be women, both from different pd, worked on the case when they learned their cases have similarities. They created a team and caught the serial rapist after 3 years of a hard work. They also found out that Marie is really telling the truth since the evidence showed up from the hard drive of the suspect. To make the story short, the city where Marie lives got a refund of $500 (she paid the fine for “falsely reporting a crime”) and won a law suit of $150,000 which she used to start a new life. The suspect, was sentenced to 327 years in prison.

It was a really great series, I feel pity for the victims especially to Marie, for battling and suffering alone, for what she experienced — no one deserves to experience what they had gone through— what she had gone through. But she was a strong woman, she managed to stay composed, managed to stand still and fight for her self. She managed to face the day by herself. They are all strong. The smile they wear everyday, the hope they have and to deal with the trauma made them so strong. Kudos to them!

This series is an eye opener, just because a person doesn’t behave the way you wanted them to be means they are not telling the truth or nothing good comes from them. People reacts differently. Supporting and tolerating are two different words with different meanings. Supporting them doesn’t mean you are tolerating them. Supporting them means you are teaching them to be strong enough and have the courage to change for their own good.

Additional note to all, stop blaming the victim. Living alone, wearing short or revealing clothes and looks flirty doesn’t mean they wanted to be raped. Rapist will rape you even if you are wearing elephant pants and jacket in summer, anytime of the day. Rapist will rape you if they really want to.

Support them, show that they are not alone on this battle.

Have a safe day people!

The Warmth of Armenia

Having fun is the best medicine to relieve stress and there are so many things how to do it— traveling is on the top of the list (I assume, how about you?)

I went to Armenia and stayed there for 5 days and I was still lucky to at least experience their winter which later on resulted to almost losing my voice for a month (My voice was so raspy one employee of the hostel I was staying at thought I was a man inside the girl’s washroom hahaha!). It is a budget-friendly country for tourists.

Armenia is the home of Mt. Ararat, where Noah’s Ark believed to be resting inside. Yerevan as the capital city and is the largest city of the country not to mention it is among the oldest continuously inhabited cities in the world. World’s first Christian country.

It took us 30 minutes to travel from the airport to the city proper which our hostel was located, I stayed in Vagary Hostel which is very cheap and a nice place to stay. The owner was so accommodating and they are a wonderful person even their son. Every day the owner will visit us and check if we are enjoying our stay. Bringing vodka that is waaaaaay too strong but tasty. They even arrange the tour for us and waited for us to get back to the hostel.

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after buying the ice cream at Yerevan Square

We first visit Yerevan Square, taking pictures and appreciating the old buildings and the atmosphere, it’s like you were in a modern – medieval era. The locals are also very accommodating, we were walking and saw an ice cream stand, we were in the line when they noticed us and let us go through first, we were hesitant because it was kind of a long cue plus they also have children with them but they insisted and also the child was smiling at us pointing the ice cream stand and so we obliged. We believed (I) that they were not used to having a tourist in their country but I know for a fact that some are still visiting Armenia. The cute part is they thought we are Chinese but no we don’t have the chinky eyes and super fair skin Chinese use to have (some Filipinos also have a fair skin tho). after taking photos, looking around and buying groceries for our dinner (yep! we are being super thrifty haha) we went back to the hostel and started cooking our dinner, chatting to each other and drinking. Oh, and by the way, I just met them at the airport!

while riding the ski lift alone! some part still has snow where we are going unfortunately I can’t find a decent photo to share hahaha

After a fun and relaxing night, we first went out to Echimiazin, it was the first cathedral that was built in the country and the world’s oldest (correct me if I’m wrong). The main church is under re-construction but still open for the public to pray. We saw a parade of priests and sacristans inside, it’s very rare for me to see it personally it’s like you were pulled back in time. After that, we went to Tsaghkadzor which is almost an hour drive and we were pretty much excited to experience the snow (no snow in our country and where I’m working at lol). Ski lifts brought us to the other side of the mountain to enjoy the scenery, so when we arrived there, we were like in a war—snowball fight! it brings out the kid inside me, us. After we got tired we went back to the van and visit Kecharis Monastery which is a medieval monastic complex dating back to the 11th to 13th centuries. Since we all woke up late and headed out late we decided to go back to the hostel. That night we go out for a drink and went to 90’s Cafe Pub, it is the most popular pub in Yerevan and the cue going inside was kinda long (when we arrive there). We had a blast that night, we get to meet people who became our friends hang out, danced and chatted with them for the rest of the night.

It’s a marathon for me to reach Khor Virap hahaha

On our 3rd day we woke up early had our breakfast and headed out again, we decided to go first to Lake Sevan, since it’s winter it is super cold, even when we were wearing our jackets you can still feel cold. While we were sightseeing and looking around before going up the hill to visit the church, one local vendor handed me a moonstone I was actually returning it back to her since I don’t want to buy it but she told me it’s a gift from her and I was so thankful I ended up buying a bundle of key chains to give to my friends. After taking several photos, we decided it’s time to go to the church and the view was so beautiful plus the weather. In Lake Sevan, you will see different monasteries and cemetery. After that, we went to Khor Virap where St. Gregory the Illuminator, the first official head of the catholic church was imprisoned for 14 years and when I saw the monastery at the top of the hill (not that it’s high but it’s still high for me) I blurted out “That’s too high! Are we really going to walk that far?!” (I’m not a fan of walking if there are staircases lol) they just laughed at me and I don’t have a choice but to walk and climb the stairs. But when we reached the peak, it feels so amazing, the wind touching my face and the scenery.

the marathon was worth it! my unsuccessful jump shot hahah

The view of Mt. Ararat was breathtaking. After appreciating and looking around the monastery we headed to Noravank Monastery, just by going to the monastery makes our eyes even fuller. The view, scenery, color of the sky, the road itself is already entertaining, not too wide not too narrow and it’s like someone dug out just so we can go to the monastery. When we arrived there, breathtaking is an underrated word, I cannot find the exact words to describe what I’ve felt when I got there. The sunset also made huge participation in making the place more beautiful. Since it’s a 1-hour drive from Khor Virap to Noravank and 2-hour drive to Yerevan. We decided to go home straight and just rest for a bit and walk around the city again trying to discover where to buy souvenirs which we found in Yerevan Square but kinda expensive compared to other shops behind the Square.

the photobomber in Noravank Monastery
the eternal flame inside Tsitsemakaberd Memorial in Yerevan, flowers are offered to Armenians who died

4th day, I slept late so I woke up late. My roommate saw me going to the washroom and she followed me, I was still inside the cubicle when I heard my roommate talking to someone. Then I came out and when the receptionist saw me who happens to be the one my roommate is talking with, smiled and looked like she’s embarrassed and started talking Russian (their language). I don’t have any idea what’s happening until my roommate burst out laughing, and explained to me what happened. The housekeeper walked inside the washroom and since my roommate who was standing in front of the mirror while talking to me, she thought that there’s a man inside girl’s washroom (hahaha my voice was already raspy and since I just woke up it gave me the sound of a man’s voice). They were so shy and embarrassed about what happened, they re-open the free breakfast for me even if it’s already past 11:00 AM and made me a pot of mint tea. We were all laughing at what happened. It was already late so we decided to just stay inside the hostel, then the owner came and invited us to go to Tsitsemakaberd Memorial since they are commemorating the lives that were perished during the war between Armenia and Turkey. It’s like a museum with photos hanging and displayed inside. We went outside and waited for our turn to see the fire surrounded by flowers given by the people to pay respect and commemorate the lives of thousands of Armenian. It was really an honor for us to be a part of that historical event. Imagine of us being proud because we didn’t see any Filipinos or Asians in that event. Thanks to the owner of the hostel who really exert so much effort just to keep us accommodated. I also made a special bond with the owner’s wife, we were linking our arms as we are walking, keep on chatting about my life, her kids and what we love doing. She bought cotton candy for me and when we came back to the hostel, she asked me to go with her to the grocery store-bought Ice cream, peanuts, chocolates, and other foods for me (all of them really made my voice worse but I still ate them) I was really touched by her gesture and I really appreciated it. Well when other guests saw what she bought for me, they envied me (hahaha but I shared it with them of course).

5th day, It’s the last day and we were preparing our things and ourselves for check out. It was really a sad day because we already got attached with the people in Armenia most especially to the people who we are with everyday, the receptionist who became our friend, we are still in contact with her to this day, to the owners and to other people who are in our group (sadly most of them are out of reach already so I don’t know their whereabouts now).

Those uncaptured memories that are forever in your hearts are the most genuine thing you could ever asked for, sure the photos made you remember. But what’s behind that photos are the reason the smile on your face was carved forever.

Travelling is a learning, learning is a living. We travel to learn not only the culture and the history of the place but to learn how to mingle with different races, be friends with different people, become a family with them and have trust on them. There will always be a language barrier but this doesn’t stop us to know them. It doesn’t stop us to be good to one another. You will also learn how to de-stress while travelling, putting everything behind and just enjoying where you are. It will also bring out the best in us..the kid in us.. And we live to learn, we are learning endless things. And by learning, we live our lives to the fullest, we live our lives to be the best we can be.

Love, Future You!

Dear Past Me,

How are you doing? Are you alright?

I know you are in a hard situation right now but everything will be okay. I believe in you. You are strong, don’t mind those people who only used you, they are temporary yes but don’t let them affect what and who you are forever. Don’t dwell too much in the past please, don’t hurt yourself too much ‘coz those people doesn’t deserve your attention and affection. You’ve done enough. All that matters are your true friends and family. You are one step closer to having a good life. Hang in there, all your sleepless nights and hardship will be paid off.

Me? I’m doing great thanks to you, because of your strength I’m complete and contented. I’m happy where I’am, extra thanks to your experiences and hardwork I have a stable and wonderful job now. I have few friends but they are for keeps, no user friendly in the circle now lol! I also have established and started the business you really like, hoping to expand since it’s a great hit! Yeah, I still work even if there’s business, that’s what you like and now I like it also. Our brother has a good position in a company now, still addicted to volleyball though. Mama is still healthy and kicking! Laughing as loud as she can like before. Regrets? you know it already (read My First Love Left Me) and I don’t regret anything other than that because I have learned so much from it, the decisions and the choices you’ve made and I know you will still be making, taught me how to become a better, stronger and not so vulnerable person. Someday, when you reach me, you’ll be super proud of yourself and stop belittling yourself. Just trust on yourself and HIM.

I know you will be smiling while reading this letter of mine, you really worked your self out so hard and I owe you big time for everything I have now. Hoping you’ll stay stronger and stop thinking of hurting yourself goodness! Oh and by the way I have 2 kids now and 1 on the way! Happily married with the guy you really really dreamed of (he is a catch, nice one past me!) They are so adorable. They are just like you, strong and compassionate. I can’t wait for you to meet them.

Love,

Future You!

It’s not bad to boast and say good things to yourself every now and then, It’s kinda embarrassing but it will be of great help, it’s like tapping your own shoulder while saying “Good Job! You did great!”. It will make you feel better and more motivated so that what your future you can truly come true. Have you thanked your past you already? Or you are still in the process to become the better version of you?

(photo ctto)

You Deserve It!

Life consists of ups and downs, it won’t give you a pure bliss..it won’t give you just laughter..and it won’t definitely give you a straight path to walk to.

When I first entered the outside world (career world) I thought it will be easy, I thought I will be on the top—-no.

I joined an airline company and oh boy! it was really really a tough job. Talking to an irate passenger, talking to a non-English speaking passenger, profiling the passenger if they can travel (infants, sick person, pregnant woman). Always be cautious not to fret the passengers when there’s a prison inmate that will board the plane with them. Explain to passengers why flights are delayed and cancelled all over again right after announcing it and so on. But mind you, working in an airline company doesn’t give you the privilege to earn a lot of money (idk with other airline tho) except for the cabin crews and captains ofcourse (ground crew here! lol). But it does give you the privilege to be commended by the passengers you helped with and by the management who appreciate your hardwork in the field. The privilege to feel contented and happy seeing your passengers smiling and appreciating you. I love my job even if I had a few hours of sleep and most of the time staying at the airport to work even in my days off but I have to step down, take it slow and consider what my family requested. So I resigned and joined the local municipality of our town, still in line with Tourism which I studied in college.

After a year, I decided to go abroad and apply for work (which I partly regretted it– you can take a look on my first blog “My first love left me” ). On my 2nd week, I found a job but the owner keeps on hitting on me and harassing me by trying to touch my private parts so I left the job. I didn’t file a complain to the police ‘coz I don’t have a working visa that time so I tried looking for another job but got unlucky until 2 months later someone hired me, it’s a restaurant and it’s my first time to work in F&B and with that, I really work so hard until the HR who also happens to be my fellow country men told me that they cannot process my visa yet but they will provide whatever I need (another tourist visa). My initial plan was to take the salary I worked for a month and half then resign but again I got unlucky, my visa has expired, so I need to exit and buy another visa. They told me they will give my salary when I came back which never happened. I gave them 2 weeks to give me my salary and reimburse my visa expenses but I didn’t receive anything so I just left the restaurant and felt really down and stupid at that moment, I’m so broke in a city where my family is far from me. I have relatives who helped me but ofcourse I cannot ask their full support since they have their own family to support as well. But heaven is still good to me after I left, the restaurant closed because there’s only few diner left and the government issued them letter to close because of hygiene issues.

After 3 months, I got hired again and I’m lucky because they gave me working visa or so I thought. People are good there, my director is good but how he ran the company is not that great. People started taking advantage of him until our salaries got delayed, almost 2 months. My increment which they promised never took place, I wasn’t able to save that much and after working with him for 2 years, I didn’t renew my visa.

Then unexpected things happened, the year after quitting my job was the worst year of my life (see again “My First Love Left Me” ) I was hired by this laboratory, after my interview I got a call and offer the same day. I started working with them, everything seems to be okay they waited for me when I have to go home for my father’s funeral. Going back, I got offloaded 2 times (immigration was so hard on me huhubels) on my 3rd time, they finally stamped my passport. So I got back and started working but things started to be kinda off, but I just shrugged it off and not bother. But that was a mistake, salaries are always delayed and on installment basis, I signed for a secretarial post but later on became the Receptionist, Accountant (which I don’t have any background nor studied and work experience), HR and Collection Officer plus I have to call and set an appointment for my manager and doctors while doing all those tasks. I have 2 phones in front of me, only 1 computer and I still have to take care of the technicians who cannot work properly without my guidance to think I don’t know how to do what they are doing! (I’m getting hyped up just remembering it). I asked them if they can hire even one person who can help me because before I joined this lab there’s 4 people who are doing it. But they just told me learn to manage my time, yeah right! I’m calling for a collection while doing invoices while following up the cases to be delivered from the technicians while following up to the drivers the pick up request from clinics while answering the calls from the clinics and suppliers and while calling for applicants who are applying for technician, oh and not to mention going out to buy office supplies and picking up the boss’ son from school! My working hours is from 8:30am to 7:00pm sometimes until 10:00pm without overtime pay and I still have to work while eating my lunch. (ranting too much?haha sorry about that). I’m the one to be blamed if the case haven’t arrive to the doctors outside the country yet even if I’m following it up to the customs, I’m the one to be blamed if there’s no tissue and alcohol, and also when the bidet inside the washroom is not working, could you believe that?! Then I have had enough! I resigned, not because of the workload but because of the delayed salary and the management ( I know it’s not reasonable but what can I do? I need to support my mom who is having a therapy, my brother still doesn’t have a job that time, my father just died, I need to pay their bills and my bills here abroad, my house rent, my food and theirs, my fare everyday to go to work). Imagine not having a single penny during Christmas and New Year because they hold your salary while other employees already got theirs. I filed a complain in labour and luckily I’ve won.

I got so depressed of what’s happening to my life that time. Thinking that I should have died instead of my father, I’m not a better person, I’m not a good daughter and sister, I’m at this age and yet I’m still broke I still didn’t accomplish anything from what I planned and dreamed of. Thinking what have I done to go through all of this. It’s like I’m laughing but crying inside, I’m breathing but dead inside.

I was so so near in giving up until I received an email. One company invited me for a job interview and so I gave it a try. I got hired after 2 weeks of being a bum! I told to myself ‘if this won’t work out I’ll just go home’.

Everyone is telling me that my Director is a good man, indeed he is really a good and wonderful man and his family. My brother had to go to the hospital and so I asked if I can have a salary advance, without saying anything he opened his wallet and gave me the amount I was asking for. We have a big event to organize and since we finished setting it up early, he invited me over to their place, I told him I will just stay there but he doesn’t want me to be left alone. His exact words are, “I will not leave you alone here, I will not let you eat by yourself. Let’s go to my place, my wife cooked food. Let’s eat, take a rest and then come back.” So we go to his place, I played with his sooo cutie patootie son and ate the food which her wife cooked (it was so delicious that I decided to break my diet that time haha). My director knows how to run his company well. He is not micro managing us and he is giving our salary on time, so on time that I will get it sometimes on 23rd of the month! My colleagues are nice as well. I’m only a month old that time in my company yet he allowed me to take 2 weeks leave and go home to commemorate my father’s first death anniversary. This blog won’t be enough to tell how a great man he is and how grateful and blessed I’am to have him as my boss and to work in this company. I just hope the business will further boom and will be a conglomerate because he is the type of person who deserve it and will still be stepping on the ground, helping those who are in need.

It took me years to find the right person to work with and the job worth working for, not that my previous jobs were not worth it but compared to my current one I’ll say it really is worth all the hardships I faced before. After experiencing everything I’ve been and gone through, I can finally feel that I’m a deserving person. I deserve what I have and will have in the future.

People who are suffering from pain, feeling of being neglected, sadness and hardships tend to think they are weak and useless because they are in that kind of situation. WE are in that kind of situation. But NO! Those who are feeling those kind of things and in that situation are the strongest ones. Everything happens for a reason, so if you are in such situation right now. Don’t worry, your patience, determination and hard work will be paid off. Happiness will come into your way just like what happened to me. So stand up and use your experience to become the person you want to be. You’ll soon find it because You Deserve It! and who knows maybe it will happen to you right this moment.

I Was Once A Part Of Airline Industry

Working in airline is full of glamour—–or is it?

I worked in airline before and oh boy! glamour is out of the context. The idea of working in airline gives people the impression of you knowing everything especially airfare promo. I was assigned in operations which means I’m either checking in the passenger or boarding them at the departure area but mostly I’m at the departure area, boarding the passengers and intercepting either their bags or the passenger itself. People tend to ask me if there’s any promotion going on or is there going to be a promotion. My answer is always, “You can always check our website for any on going promotion”, ofcourse I don’t know either lol. Ticketing and marketing department knows about those things. Working as a Gate Agent (Passenger/Customer Service Assistant) are very tiring, especially when there’s a delay or cancellation of flight. And for the information of the community, we don’t like it either but we don’t have a choice but to delay or cancel your flight for your safety and we do apologize for the inconvenience.

I have lot’s of experiences but few really hit me so hard, like when there’s a typhoon, we need to cancel all flights as there’s a zero visibility and most of the area are already flooded by the water not to mention the non-stop raining. We are all stuck inside the airport but some of the passengers are still complaining about the cancelled flight, some was cursing at us but most of the passengers are calm and can understand the situation. Then there’s this time when Former US President Obama visits our country, flights got delayed because of the protocol called Quasi (other planes are not allowed during take-off and landing, when an airplane carries the head of the state) so airplanes going to our airport diverted to the nearest airport. I kept on announcing about the delayed flights and kept on telling the passengers that there’s a special event happening at the airport. One passenger approached me and asked me about his flight and I told him his airplane hasn’t arrived yet. After quite some time, he approached me again and asked the same thing, I told him I will just check the system and so I did, out of excitement I told him that the plane he is going to use has just landed with a very nice tone of voice with a wide smile but what he did after surprises me, he hit my podium with his water bottle and asked me why I’m not announcing it, why I’m not doing my job properly and if I want him to hit me. So I answered calmly, “The aircraft sir has just landed the very same time you asked me that’s why I wasn’t able to announce it immediately and if you want to hit me it’s your rights sir but I would also like to inform you that I will file a case against you” and other passengers actually defended me and I heard one of them says, “Why hit the lady?Pick up your own size and Can’t you see she’s alone and we are all asking her about our flights?” after that he left and other passengers comforted me and says don’t mind him and it really really warms my heart.

We are blamed for everything, why washrooms are far from the gate, why washrooms are dirty, why do they need to change the gates, why the flights was cancelled and delayed, why the weighing conveyor is not accurate, why they cannot hear the announcement in the smoking lounge, why they were offloaded and the likes. Airlines don’t own the airport, they are just renting the space from the government. Airplane cannot take off if there’s zero visibility or bad weather, gate changes are the aftermath of delayed flights, it’s a domino effect, it’s like a first come first serve basis (correct me if I’m wrong tho, the captain and the traffic control knows it better than I do). This is a very very common issues, delayed and cancelled flights. We don’t like and want this either, but it also depends on the arrival of your airplane, if there’s a sudden aircraft maintenance check requested by the captain or other crew member and if there’s a bad weather condition. We value your life that’s why we are delaying the flight not just because we want to but we have to. Airport announcement are done by the airport personnel BUT gate announcement are the responsibility of the airline personnel, gate paging system doesn’t cover smoking lounge, immigration and x-ray area. But ofcourse it is the gate agent’s responsibility to call the airport personnel for general announcement. Be aware of the time, always look and read your boarding pass, after checking in go directly to your assigned gate, if you don’t have the assigned gate on your boarding pass yet be vigilant and attentive, listen carefully in every announcement or you can search it on the screens for flight announcements.

Working in airline is so stressful, you can still have fun but you’d rather stay inside and sleep especially if you are in zombie shift (lol it’s 2am til 1:30pm) but it will help you longer your patience, it will help you deal with different kind of person, you will witness events that you won’t see everyday. It is hard to work in airline, sometimes you can’t eat on time even if you are hungry, if you don’t have the time to eat you can’t eat. But what’s so good about working in airline? The people. When I was working in airline, My heart is always warm because I can witness the people meeting new friends, smiling at you and tapping your shoulder when you did a great job or even tapping your shoulders because they are sorry if we were yelled at by others. There’s always unity among the people, you can see the efforts. The affection they are giving to their company. The care. It really warms my heart to witness and to be part of that. Also the bond I’ve made with my colleagues which became my friends. There’s no dull moment with them even when the gate is congested and full of irate passengers, even if there’s non-stop boarding we still have time to tease each other who finished the boarding early. I miss them dearly tho! Plus we got to see celebrities and politicians most of the times.

Yes I was humiliated, yelled at and received harsh words but that doesn’t stop me to see the good things. It didn’t stop me from wanting to go back and work again in airline. Hopefully someday, I can go back and serve you better with all of my heart.

Have a safe flight everyone!

To Be Wealthy Is To Be Healthy

“Health is Wealth” —- the most popular saying of all time.

Unfortunately for me, I’m kinda below average when it comes to health.

UTI (Urinary Tract Infection) and Amoebiasis enjoyed my childhood, well I cannot blame them though. I love eating junk foods, fast foods and drinking sodas. Fast-forward to 6 months after graduating college, I was diagnosed of having a colitis and other colon problem. I’m constipated and it usually took a week before I dispose what I have eaten. I have undergone through a procedure called Barium Enema wherein they will insert a small and not that long elastic tube in rectum and will put liquids and pump air inside you for them to start the process of x-raying your colon. Funny part was the nurses and the doctor was really amazed because most of their patients always failed to finish the procedure and I were able to finish it without making a mess (you know what I mean lol). I also undergone a procedure called Colonoscopy wherein they will insert again in your rectum a tube to properly see what’s going inside your colon, halfway through the procedure I woke up and one of the doctor commented that their patient (me) are widely awake and I’m looking at the screen–watching, I can see my colon, how they pull and cut some parts of it for biopsy. I can even here them saying “Pull”, “Cut” and “Spray” and I was thinking—-reeeeeallly thinking how those stuffs managed to fit inside me. I tried drinking 2 tablets of Dulcolax and 1 suppository at the same time, it helped but just a little bit. People said Papaya can help ease constipation and have a normal bowel movement but it didn’t help me until I tried eating prunes. Almost 2500mg dosage of medicine a day made me hallucinate and grumpy. My doctor told me that if I will vomit fecal, they don’t have a choice but to operate me and thankfully it never happened—–yet. After a year or two I suppose, I was diagnosed of having a PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome) my first doctor says I’m a candidate for cancer, it really worsen my feelings, I was working and my colleagues were trying to make me laugh but I just can’t, then I opted to look for a 2nd opinion, the doctor explained it to me thoroughly and he helped me get back on track by saying “Everyone is a candidate for cancer, but I’m here to help you, your family and yourself. Let’s fight this and we’ll survive”. I was also diagnosed of having dry eyes and eye infection as well.

For my fellow constipated human being:

  1. Drink water. Always drink water, stay hydrated. Less soda or if it’s possible to totally cut it then it’s great!
  2. Avoid eating red meats (beef, pork and lamb) that much as well as shrimp and squid or any other seafoods that has elasticity texture as they are really hard to burn and digest.
  3. Eat more fruits and vegetable. Prunes helps me a lot!
  4. It’s better to eat fresh foods than processed ones.
  5. Drinking coffee helps me as well. You can try but drink coffee moderately or decaf if you don’t want that much caffeine in your body.
  6. Proper sleep helps you digest food fast.
  7. Avoid eating oily, fatty foods and junk foods.

Fellow women that has PCOS:

  1. Watch your diet and what you eat. PCOS loves women who are not taking care of theirselves. Gaining weight is what PCOS loves the most.
  2. Visit your OB-gyne regularly so they can see if there’s improvement or any other procedure to be done. They will also help you in your future pregnancy.
  3. Try using Anion Napkin, it is clinically tested and proven that it has health benefits. It eases the cramps, lessen the odor during menstruation and help fights bacteria.
  4. Always be aware and love yourself.

Fellow people who has dry eyes and eye infection:

  1. As much as possible, don’t scratch your eyes. It will make your eyes swollen, reddish, teary and kinda painful. Cover a small ice in a clean cloth and just pat it to your closed eyes, not that much pressure as we don’t want our eyes to have a blurry vision after. Do this every time your eyes are irritated.
  2. Always clean your surroundings, dust can really irritate your eyes.
  3. Don’t stay up super late as it makes our eyes super tired.

Thankfully I don’t have any other health issues other than those mentioned above hahaha. Just don’t go look and search over the internet the symptoms you are currently experiencing now. It will not help you, it will only make you paranoid and depressed. You will overthink and it will be the cause to deteriorate your health. Don’t overthink, just enjoy your life ( but still be responsible for your actions) and keep on fighting. Don’t lose hope even how ill you are. Help yourself, because even if the people surrounding you are helping you it’s useless. No one can really help you fight these diseases but you yourself. Always seek advice from the doctors. They know what to do and what to say. They will help you get better. Lean to your family and friends, they will support you and be there for you. Talk to HIM, he will definitely make you feel healthy, mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually.

Photo credit to : https://www.instagram.com/bonlirasan/