Loving A Heartbreak

Having a broken heart is the worst feeling you can ever experience. You will feel tightness, heaviness and actual pain in your chest and stomach. As if someone tries to burn your heart. As if someone is pounding at your heart. May it be heartbreak from breaking up with your partner, feeling alone and lost, losing your friends and family members and the likes.

But I believe in loving a heartbreak, weird isn’t it? Why would people need to love it when they want to get over it? But that is the logic of it, you have to love it so you can get over it (unless you really don’t want to get over it and just ruin your self for someone who cannot stop damaging you).

How to do it? Below is my opinion on how to:

  1. Acceptance – you have to wake up and face the reality, accepting that your time with someone has already ended. I know that it’s hard to accept the fact that someone broke your heart, it’s hard to accept that what you had with someone is not special anymore, it’s hard to accept that you lost someone forever, but know what’s harder? To be trapped inside the world you created just to please someone who just doesn’t care. To be waiting for someone who doesn’t have any plans on returning. Feel the pain, it will help you to open your eyes and there, you will start to accept everything.
  2. Forgiveness – forgiving someone who isn’t sorry is the bravest thing you can do. It’s a hard step to do, but very lightest way to move on. Forgive yourself as well, just because the person broke your heart that doesn’t mean you haven’t done anything wrong. Assess yourself and forgive yourself. Forgive yourself but never doubt yourself, you are more than enough. Forgive yourself for being in that situation. Just like the old saying says “Forgive and forget”. Forgiving someone is not easy, it needs a right time. Don’t hurry things up, time will come and automatically you will give that to the person and to your self.
  3. Don’t regret – don’t regret or think you have wasted your time hanging out with someone who ended up breaking your heart. You enjoyed those times together, you smiled, you laughed and you loved every bits of that moment so why regret things? Instead of wasting your time and energy regretting about it, start to think about what you have learned and how it molded you to be a strong person than before. Always opt for number 1 and it will be easier.
  4. Let go – let it all go and move on. Easier said than done, but you have to let go. Don’t hold grudges to someone because you will end up hurting yourself. It’s fine to be mad at them because you have a reason and it’s normal but you have to let go. Don’t hold on and cling to someone who wants to walk away, let them go. Learn to value yourself.

It’s okay to be sad, it’s okay to be mad, it’s okay to be heartbroken but loving all of it will give you peace of mind and heart, and a realization in life.

Always remember, it’s okay not to be okay, it’s normal to feel pain.

Loving a heartbreak will teach you that everything takes time and effort. Loving a heartbreak will make you stronger. Loving a heartbreak will open a new door for you, a new path to walk with to a better future and better you.

What It Feels Like To Be Exposed To Covid-19

The world is in emergency health situation due to the pandemic we are all experiencing right now — Corona Virus.

A lot of people tested positive since late 2019, some are fortunate to survive but others didn’t make it. Sadly, there’s still people out there who don’t take this situation seriously. But what does it really feel to be exposed to a covid positive person? Will you automatically be infected as well?

Last September, I slept beside my friend and roommate for two nights. We shared food as well, eating quesadilla in one plate. On the third night, I decided to sleep on my own bed so that she will be able to sleep comfortably because she’s having fever and not feeling well . The weather is changing and both of us are thinking it is only a seasonal flu and because she just got her period. The next morning, I woke up and heard her talking with someone over the phone and setting up a doctor’s appointment. I started to feel sick as well. She went to the doctor and told me she did the swab test for covid as per the doctor’s advice.

The next day, I feel like I’m going to have a fever as I’m starting to shiver or maybe I’m just feeling cold because of the ac, I am not sure. My roommate prepared a milk with turmeric and honey for me when I told her I’m not feeling well (her fever went down). After drinking it, I went to the kitchen to wash my glass and when I got back inside our room, she immediately told me that her result came out and it’s positive. I was so shocked I cannot move and just stood there at the door.

She was agitated and annoyed as to why she is positive, how and where did she get it. I got so scared for the both of us, I feel pity on her because she is really in a tight situation already and now this!

The Department of Health advised her to just stay at home and isolate her self, I thought they are going to get and put her in isolation facilities for patients. Again, my stress doubled, no —- tripled! That night I slept in the same room with her, used the same washroom as her. I was still giving the benefit of the doubt that maybe, they will get her out from our room.

The next morning, I went to the hospital for the consultation and swab testing. The doctor said I don’t have corona but instead, I’m having tonsillitis. I still insisted to get tested and told her that I’m exposed to my roommate who is still inside our room.

After the swab test, I booked a hotel room as I don’t want to be exposed longer from her. Wrong move to be honest, because if my result is positive, man I will be in trouble. The hotel might shut down again, do disinfection and for sure I will pay a lot! I was in the hotel already when my she told me she is going to the isolation facilities, thank goodness for that but I still cannot relax. I easily get sick as my immune system is low. I’m stressed out already and I can feel my anxiety is getting high. I’m a worst thinker, I’m thinking maybe I’m positive already and there’s these questions lingering in my head.

“Will I die?”, “What will happen to my mom and brother?”, “Will I ever see them again?” and “Will I survive?”

Over reacting as it may seem, but I was really scared. I mean, the virus is not a joke. Who would have thought that my roommate will get a Covid-19?She works out everyday, eating healthy foods and taking vitamins, always using sanitizer, alcohol and hand wash. Mask on whenever she’s going outside. You will really never know.

Hours has passed by and I’m so anxious, I kept on eating and cannot sleep. 12:16 am. I got a message from Department of Health. As I read it, my heart exploded and I jumped in the bed. I’m negative and I teared up. Nowadays, negative is the new positive. So grateful for this.

Test result.. Thank God!

It was a roller coaster emotions. It was an experience I never want to happen again. But I’m more paranoid now than before because of this. Good thing is now, my roommate’s healed and slowly picking up the things that has been dropped.

Always be aware, always be careful, always take care of yourself, mentally, emotionally and physically. Make it a habit to eat healthy and have a healthy lifestyle. Take care of yourself. Don’t take this situation or this pandemic lightly. Other countries and regions are on their second lockdown now, and hopefully everything will be fine soonest possible.

Stay safe, stay healthy everyone!

I Appreciate You, Yes You!

I’ve been active in blogging for almost a year now, and it’s really amazing!

My very first blog was last 2015, when I came back here in UAE for a job. If you haven’t read “Where It All Begins” then you might get confused if you’ve read “Life As An Overseas Worker” first. But what’s more confusing is this statement hahaha! Anyway, I deleted my first blog because I’m not confident enough and doubting myself if what I’m doing is right and okay.

Fast forward to 2019, I started blogging, still not confident but I don’t doubt on myself anymore. I cannot please everyone, I cannot blog based on what people really expected in a blog but I’m trying. I blog because I want to motivate people, I want to share my experiences and maybe give some light to some people who are experiencing and experienced what I’ve been thru. I might blog something that’s too personal to blog or might post a topic that is really unattractive for some people. My vocabulary is limited.

But I really love blogging, I love conveying my feelings through blogs.

Especially the blogging and writing community. I’m really grateful and thankful for the community. I’ve talked and established a relationship with other bloggers from different countries. I haven’t personally meet anyone from the community yet, but I really care for those people. OMG why am I in tears? hahaha I’m just grateful for having friends like you guys, for treating me nice and for spending time to talk to me. The connection and not being easily judged. I’m overwhelmed from the support I’ve been receiving, from the friendship you are giving, from the trust and most especially for accepting me not just as Yourstrulie but as Liezl. You guys are the best! I cannot express in words how thankful I’am to be a part of this community. I love you guys and from the bottom of my heart:

Salamat


Gracias

Arigatogozaimasu

Kamsahamnida

Shukraan Gazilaan

Dhanyavaad

Grazie

Thank You!

Those are the languages I know in saying Thank you, I don’t want to google it and the list might be long enough we will take a couple of more hours just to read it hahaha!

I really do appreciate you guys.I will always have your back! I will always be here to support you. I will always walk the journey with you.

Yourstrulie now signing off…

Joooooooooke!! Will never happen ofcourse, loving the community and there’s no reason to sign off yet. 🙂

Have a blessed day guys and stay safe!

The Formula Of Prejudice: Colors + Judgement * Ignorance = Racism

Are people classified based on the color of the skin? Can a person judge another person by his color instead of his personality and character? Is it okay to mock and bully someone because they are somehow not of your own color and has a different language?

I mentioned in my previous post, “Life As An Overseas Worker”, that I was racially profiled. Because I’m Asian, some people see me as an ingrate, a gold digger– a person who will do anything for money. Some see me as a sex worker. Some will question my true intention. And some will treat me differently from others because I’m Asian. Just last March, I was told to “Just find an old white man.” It seems like she thinks I’m after an American guy for my convenience and advantage. Just because I dated a guy who happens to be an American doesn’t mean I’m after him because of where he came from.

I’m still fortunate compared to others who are being racially profiled with violence attached to it. Some are wrongfully convicted and harassed, why? Because they are black. Some are being bullied at work and by customers, why? Because they are Hispanic. Some are being maltreated, why? Because they are Asian, especially now that there’s a battle versus COVID-19. Some are being taken advantage of, why? Because they are Caucasian. Some are being feared of, why? Because they are from the Middle East. Some are being a laughing stock, why? Because they can’t fully communicate in English. And then the cycle will repeat and rotate. All will be shared the same sufferings.

Your words and actions show your true color. Just because you are different from others doesn’t mean you are above them or below them. Words, laughter, and the way you look can kill a person.

Self-entitlement cannot save a person from dying. A person who comes up with his own “privilege” will be soon forgotten. Arrogance will forever be a person’s ID but being righteous will forever be engraved in everyone’s heart and memory.

Racism might not end as the past generations already classified us by the color of our skin and by the shape of our tongue, we cannot change that, it’s already in our history books. But what we can change is the future by being the true judge of the true colors, by being used to the word “equality” and by accepting one another regardless of where they came from, regardless of their ethnicity and regardless of their colors.

No one is born a racist, it was taught by others. If you can learn racism, for sure you can learn equality and the difference between acceptance, prejudice and ignorance. It’s your call.

Spotlighted! An Unexpected Interview Worth Treasuring For…

After a short hiatus regarding blog posts (“Untitled 2019” isn’t really a blog post, I don’t think so!), I’m back!

How would you guys feel if someone were to approach you and ask you to do an interview with them, which would then be posted on their website or written about on their blog site? Exciting isn’t it?!

I was mentioned in one of the Ovasinax team’s tweets, last October (in 2019); they expressed an interest in featuring me on their website, and so, I sent them a direct message to inquire about that tweet. They replied sooner than expected, explained to me about the interview invitation, and told me the reason why they were interested in interviewing me. It was a thrilling moment for me, and I was so touched by their words regarding my blog posts. I was out of words and was feeling strong emotions because someone had acknowledged my blog posts in a positive way. My blog posts define me as a person… that’s why when someone shows an interest in them, it makes me feel like I’m an important and special person, contented and simply overjoyed.

When I received the questions from the Ovasinax team regarding my interview, I was excited to answer them all… the questions didn’t only focus on my blogging, but also on my overall life/existence in this world. Many of their questions were so nostalgia-inducing… they brought me back to old times and memories that I had of times when I was trying my best to become a better version of myself (I’m still in the process of doing that, by the way!). There were also “rapid-fire” questions that made me feel hyped up while answering them… I imagined answering them in person (face-to-face) while having fun but being pressured by time (and thinking that I needed to talk very fast… haha!). Please take a peek at the SPOTLIGHT tab on the official Ovasinax website, and you will get to know more about me there – regarding both my blogging life and my everyday life.

Later, my interview Q&A was posted on the official Ovasinax website and it went live! I still can’t stop reading through that page… I read it while smiling to myself. I just can’t believe that I’m featured on someone else’s website, not to mention having my own special section on it! I was initially kinda shy about mentioning this interview to my friends and family, but on second thoughts – why wouldn’t I?! So, I told them about it and shared the link on my Social Media accounts, and I’m both proud and thankful for the feature. It’s still surreal that someone did this for me… for “Yourstrulie”! We (the Ovasinax team and I) didn’t know each other to begin with… total strangers who are thousand miles apart… yet, my blog posts and my feelings reached them.

Curious about Ovasinax? It is a game that was created/designed based on memories of the creators’ youthful times, especially focusing on thoughts of young adult pool-parties… Ovasinax is a tandem sprint race that features a man running or walking as fast as he can in a swimming pool while a woman stands and sits on his shoulders (this is during competition with two other male-female pairs), and this game also serves to promote – competition, fitness motivation, and expressions of bright personalities (when possible).

The Ovasinax game and website were designed by Jerome and Lucy who, by the way, have been happily married for 12 years now, are in their 40s, and are still kicking the sports that they both love; they are Canadians of Asian origin (Sri Lankan and Filipino heritage, respectively). Jerome and Lucy both work in the medical field… we all know how tight the schedules of people who work in this field can be, but these two still manage to enjoy traveling; they also appreciate cold weather – which is just perfect for a cuddle – and are very fond of animals, especially cats. Their hobbies include reading and writing, which explains why they pay attention to blogs and blog posts.

The Ovasinax team is constantly promoting and supporting me, which is a very big help in terms of expanding my network and helping my blog posts to become known by people around the globe; they also don’t ask for anything from me in return. Still, I decided to do an interview, and this time, it will be with them in the spotlight. They actually didn’t want to do it, but I insisted and told them that it’s my way of showing my gratitude to them. So, without further ado….

Question: How did you come across my blog posts?
Answer: We came across your blog site and your blog posts after we came across your tweets and your whole Twitter account; since you are clearly very engaging and popular on Twitter, we then checked out your blog posts and were very impressed by your openness, sweetness, purpose, and heart (all of which you display whenever you write/compose).

Question: When did you make the decision to feature me on the official Ovasinax website? Why?
Answer: We decided to ask you if you would like to be interviewed by us (and be featured on a special page on the official Ovasinax website), very soon after we read your magnetic blog posts.
The reasons for wanting to feature you on the official Ovasinax website were – you seemed to have a great personality, you are certainly an up-and-coming blogger, you (we felt sure) would be honest & detailed in your interview answers, and you are very beautiful.

Question: Out of all of my blog posts, which most caught your attention or interest? Why?
Answer: All of your blog posts are interesting, and the two that captivated us the most were – “The Warmth Of Armenia” and “Love, Future You!”.
The reasons for those two posts being especially interesting were – the first one was a great travel-based post with gorgeous pictures and nice anecdotes, while the second one had important and inspiring pieces of general life advice.

Question: How and where did Ovasinax get started?
Answer: Ovasinax got started in our minds, based on thoughts of younger “party” days… the concept was expanded upon (and the rules & regulations were created) by us in Canada, although since Canada is a relatively cold country, Ovasinax has unsurprisingly gained most interest in warmer parts of the world (like Australia).

Question: What is your main goal regarding Ovasinax and how do you think it will help people who play it?
Answer: Our main goal regarding Ovasinax is for it to keep on growing and gaining popularity in more parts of the world (hopefully, it can eventually get onto TV screens worldwide, too!). Ovasinax is a great way for couples to train together, bond with each other, motivate/challenge each other, and stay fit together… plus – it is romantic!

Question: How do you describe the best feeling you have had, regarding Ovasinax?
Answer: The best feeling that we have had (re: Ovasinax), so far is – pride while seeing more and more people in different countries becoming interested in this game and trying to play it, write about it, film videos about it, and tell other people about it.

The Ovasinax team consists of such good-hearted people; their pieces of advice and their suggestions motivate me to do better. From strangers to friends! From “someone” to mentors! Glad that they came across my blog posts, and glad to have them in every chapter of Yourstrulie’s journey!

You can check them out in:

My Ghostly Experience

Do you believe in ghosts or you are kinda skeptical about it?

I was about 5 years old when I first encountered them, I was inside the washroom, sitting on the bowl and infront of me was the drainage, I was playfully swinging my feet when I suddenly saw a bubbles coming out of the drainage until it forms into a blood I got so scared I ran to our room, opened the door, shut it closed and cried on my mom while hugging her. She asked me what happened and then I told her what I saw, she then went on the door to check and when she opened it, there’s traces of blood on the carpet from the washroom til the door of our room, as if it was following me.

When I was in college, my grandmother died and we traveled to my mom’s town to pay respect. After the funeral, we still stayed there for a couple of days without my friends knowing it (the extension), I was talking with my relatives when I received a message from one of my friends and asked how am I, I told her the situation and will be back after weekends, she kept on asking me if I’m telling the truth, got annoyed and asked her why is she being like that. Then she told me that one of our friend’s family saw me in a mall and greeted them and said I even kissed the youngest sibling of my friend. I told her no I’m still out of town and the mall where her family claimed that they saw me was far from where I’m living. It’s weird and creepy coz IT kissed her sister. They said it’s a doppelganger. After that incident, I got safely to my dorm. My roommates are not there so I’m alone, I decided to take a nap since I was so exhausted. I dreamed of someone opening the door and a woman in white entered my room, pulled the chair on my study table and sat there. I suddenly woke up and there I saw the door widely opened and my chair was moved as if someone just sat there. Is it a dream or it really happened?

Still in college, I kept on hearing voices calling my name. When I was about to ride a bus I heard my mom’s voice calling my name but she’s like hundreds of miles away from me, other times when I was walking inside the university I can hear kid’s voice calling out to me. One day I was inside my dorm when I received a phone call, I said “Hello” and it got creepy when I heard a woman’s voice mimicking the way I said hello and she kept on saying hello several times with a playful tone of voice until it got cut. I tried to call the number but the operator says the number is not registered—not unattended–not cannot be reached but not registered, I got scared and got afraid to be alone for a period of time.

I was on a tour in Baguio Philippines as part of my course, my roommates already taken a bath and when it was my turn I smelled a guy’s perfume inside the bathroom, I just shrugged it off and thought our guy friend visited us in our room, I was preparing the tub when I saw an image at the mirror, I looked at it and nothing was there so I thought I was just seeing things, when I was about to be finished I saw someone peeked at the mirror and when I looked at it there’s letters written on the mirror, I don’t know if it’s initials or just randoms words. I got scared a bit and hurriedly go out of the bathroom, my roommates looked at me and asked what happened, maybe it shows on my face that I was scared. I told them what happened and when they looked at the mirror, the letters are not there anymore. I also asked them if our guy friend went inside our room they all said no one visited our room. I just didn’t say anything after that.

It was weekend and I decided to go home, my mom and my dad told me that my little brother are so afraid and scared as he always see a woman outside of our house—no definite time. So when I arrived around 7:00pm-ish, we closed the door and the windows and the curtain because my brother is really afraid at that time. We were sitting face to face and chatting when I suddenly felt a gust of wind on my back and got chills and I felt right at that moment that someone or something was standing behind me. I saw my brother’s eyes widened and told him not to say anything. He put his hands on his mouth while looking at me, teary eyes. I was so stoned but managed to hold my brother’s knees. Here’s the thing, my mom was just steps away from us and watching T.V, we are really so afraid when I called my mom, she looked at us and asked why? I don’t know but she suddenly ran outside and kept on asking us why and what is happening hahahaha we are so scared that we just laughed at my mom’s reaction. We told her what happened and my brother told me that it’s the first time the woman went inside of our house. He cannot believe that I felt it before he saw the woman standing behind me.

I have lots of lots of experience with them but those are few that still gives me chills whenever I remember those incidents, right now I’m having chills just by writing it down. I just pray and keep rosary with me. It’s my protection from those spirits.

What is your scariest experience with them?

Believe It, It’s Unbelievable!

“One day’s burden is enough for one day” – Matthew 6:34.

I decided to watch the series Unbelievable in Netflix yesterday and it really affected me emotionally. I was thinking maybe other people are in this kind of situation. In the situation where MARIE experienced it for years.

The story is all about a girl, raped, bullied and outcasted by the people around her, people whom she cared and trusted. She was raped, accused and charged for falsifying her claims of rape because there was no evidence collected at the crime scene, no suspect and her demeanor after the incident was off.

At first everyone sympathizes with her, but because of how the way she act and her attitude made her former foster parent doubt and discussed about it to the police which later on resulted for them to believe the foster parent.

Unknowingly, another similar incidents happened and two detectives who happened to be women, both from different pd, worked on the case when they learned their cases have similarities. They created a team and caught the serial rapist after 3 years of a hard work. They also found out that Marie is really telling the truth since the evidence showed up from the hard drive of the suspect. To make the story short, the city where Marie lives got a refund of $500 (she paid the fine for “falsely reporting a crime”) and won a law suit of $150,000 which she used to start a new life. The suspect, was sentenced to 327 years in prison.

It was a really great series, I feel pity for the victims especially to Marie, for battling and suffering alone, for what she experienced — no one deserves to experience what they had gone through— what she had gone through. But she was a strong woman, she managed to stay composed, managed to stand still and fight for her self. She managed to face the day by herself. They are all strong. The smile they wear everyday, the hope they have and to deal with the trauma made them so strong. Kudos to them!

This series is an eye opener, just because a person doesn’t behave the way you wanted them to be means they are not telling the truth or nothing good comes from them. People reacts differently. Supporting and tolerating are two different words with different meanings. Supporting them doesn’t mean you are tolerating them. Supporting them means you are teaching them to be strong enough and have the courage to change for their own good.

Additional note to all, stop blaming the victim. Living alone, wearing short or revealing clothes and looks flirty doesn’t mean they wanted to be raped. Rapist will rape you even if you are wearing elephant pants and jacket in summer, anytime of the day. Rapist will rape you if they really want to.

Support them, show that they are not alone on this battle.

Have a safe day people!

I Was Once A Part Of Airline Industry

Working in airline is full of glamour—–or is it?

I worked in airline before and oh boy! glamour is out of the context. The idea of working in airline gives people the impression of you knowing everything especially airfare promo. I was assigned in operations which means I’m either checking in the passenger or boarding them at the departure area but mostly I’m at the departure area, boarding the passengers and intercepting either their bags or the passenger itself. People tend to ask me if there’s any promotion going on or is there going to be a promotion. My answer is always, “You can always check our website for any on going promotion”, ofcourse I don’t know either lol. Ticketing and marketing department knows about those things. Working as a Gate Agent (Passenger/Customer Service Assistant) are very tiring, especially when there’s a delay or cancellation of flight. And for the information of the community, we don’t like it either but we don’t have a choice but to delay or cancel your flight for your safety and we do apologize for the inconvenience.

I have lot’s of experiences but few really hit me so hard, like when there’s a typhoon, we need to cancel all flights as there’s a zero visibility and most of the area are already flooded by the water not to mention the non-stop raining. We are all stuck inside the airport but some of the passengers are still complaining about the cancelled flight, some was cursing at us but most of the passengers are calm and can understand the situation. Then there’s this time when Former US President Obama visits our country, flights got delayed because of the protocol called Quasi (other planes are not allowed during take-off and landing, when an airplane carries the head of the state) so airplanes going to our airport diverted to the nearest airport. I kept on announcing about the delayed flights and kept on telling the passengers that there’s a special event happening at the airport. One passenger approached me and asked me about his flight and I told him his airplane hasn’t arrived yet. After quite some time, he approached me again and asked the same thing, I told him I will just check the system and so I did, out of excitement I told him that the plane he is going to use has just landed with a very nice tone of voice with a wide smile but what he did after surprises me, he hit my podium with his water bottle and asked me why I’m not announcing it, why I’m not doing my job properly and if I want him to hit me. So I answered calmly, “The aircraft sir has just landed the very same time you asked me that’s why I wasn’t able to announce it immediately and if you want to hit me it’s your rights sir but I would also like to inform you that I will file a case against you” and other passengers actually defended me and I heard one of them says, “Why hit the lady?Pick up your own size and Can’t you see she’s alone and we are all asking her about our flights?” after that he left and other passengers comforted me and says don’t mind him and it really really warms my heart.

We are blamed for everything, why washrooms are far from the gate, why washrooms are dirty, why do they need to change the gates, why the flights was cancelled and delayed, why the weighing conveyor is not accurate, why they cannot hear the announcement in the smoking lounge, why they were offloaded and the likes. Airlines don’t own the airport, they are just renting the space from the government. Airplane cannot take off if there’s zero visibility or bad weather, gate changes are the aftermath of delayed flights, it’s a domino effect, it’s like a first come first serve basis (correct me if I’m wrong tho, the captain and the traffic control knows it better than I do). This is a very very common issues, delayed and cancelled flights. We don’t like and want this either, but it also depends on the arrival of your airplane, if there’s a sudden aircraft maintenance check requested by the captain or other crew member and if there’s a bad weather condition. We value your life that’s why we are delaying the flight not just because we want to but we have to. Airport announcement are done by the airport personnel BUT gate announcement are the responsibility of the airline personnel, gate paging system doesn’t cover smoking lounge, immigration and x-ray area. But ofcourse it is the gate agent’s responsibility to call the airport personnel for general announcement. Be aware of the time, always look and read your boarding pass, after checking in go directly to your assigned gate, if you don’t have the assigned gate on your boarding pass yet be vigilant and attentive, listen carefully in every announcement or you can search it on the screens for flight announcements.

Working in airline is so stressful, you can still have fun but you’d rather stay inside and sleep especially if you are in zombie shift (lol it’s 2am til 1:30pm) but it will help you longer your patience, it will help you deal with different kind of person, you will witness events that you won’t see everyday. It is hard to work in airline, sometimes you can’t eat on time even if you are hungry, if you don’t have the time to eat you can’t eat. But what’s so good about working in airline? The people. When I was working in airline, My heart is always warm because I can witness the people meeting new friends, smiling at you and tapping your shoulder when you did a great job or even tapping your shoulders because they are sorry if we were yelled at by others. There’s always unity among the people, you can see the efforts. The affection they are giving to their company. The care. It really warms my heart to witness and to be part of that. Also the bond I’ve made with my colleagues which became my friends. There’s no dull moment with them even when the gate is congested and full of irate passengers, even if there’s non-stop boarding we still have time to tease each other who finished the boarding early. I miss them dearly tho! Plus we got to see celebrities and politicians most of the times.

Yes I was humiliated, yelled at and received harsh words but that doesn’t stop me to see the good things. It didn’t stop me from wanting to go back and work again in airline. Hopefully someday, I can go back and serve you better with all of my heart.

Have a safe flight everyone!

To Be Wealthy Is To Be Healthy

“Health is Wealth” —- the most popular saying of all time.

Unfortunately for me, I’m kinda below average when it comes to health.

UTI (Urinary Tract Infection) and Amoebiasis enjoyed my childhood, well I cannot blame them though. I love eating junk foods, fast foods and drinking sodas. Fast-forward to 6 months after graduating college, I was diagnosed of having a colitis and other colon problem. I’m constipated and it usually took a week before I dispose what I have eaten. I have undergone through a procedure called Barium Enema wherein they will insert a small and not that long elastic tube in rectum and will put liquids and pump air inside you for them to start the process of x-raying your colon. Funny part was the nurses and the doctor was really amazed because most of their patients always failed to finish the procedure and I were able to finish it without making a mess (you know what I mean lol). I also undergone a procedure called Colonoscopy wherein they will insert again in your rectum a tube to properly see what’s going inside your colon, halfway through the procedure I woke up and one of the doctor commented that their patient (me) are widely awake and I’m looking at the screen–watching, I can see my colon, how they pull and cut some parts of it for biopsy. I can even here them saying “Pull”, “Cut” and “Spray” and I was thinking—-reeeeeallly thinking how those stuffs managed to fit inside me. I tried drinking 2 tablets of Dulcolax and 1 suppository at the same time, it helped but just a little bit. People said Papaya can help ease constipation and have a normal bowel movement but it didn’t help me until I tried eating prunes. Almost 2500mg dosage of medicine a day made me hallucinate and grumpy. My doctor told me that if I will vomit fecal, they don’t have a choice but to operate me and thankfully it never happened—–yet. After a year or two I suppose, I was diagnosed of having a PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome) my first doctor says I’m a candidate for cancer, it really worsen my feelings, I was working and my colleagues were trying to make me laugh but I just can’t, then I opted to look for a 2nd opinion, the doctor explained it to me thoroughly and he helped me get back on track by saying “Everyone is a candidate for cancer, but I’m here to help you, your family and yourself. Let’s fight this and we’ll survive”. I was also diagnosed of having dry eyes and eye infection as well.

For my fellow constipated human being:

  1. Drink water. Always drink water, stay hydrated. Less soda or if it’s possible to totally cut it then it’s great!
  2. Avoid eating red meats (beef, pork and lamb) that much as well as shrimp and squid or any other seafoods that has elasticity texture as they are really hard to burn and digest.
  3. Eat more fruits and vegetable. Prunes helps me a lot!
  4. It’s better to eat fresh foods than processed ones.
  5. Drinking coffee helps me as well. You can try but drink coffee moderately or decaf if you don’t want that much caffeine in your body.
  6. Proper sleep helps you digest food fast.
  7. Avoid eating oily, fatty foods and junk foods.

Fellow women that has PCOS:

  1. Watch your diet and what you eat. PCOS loves women who are not taking care of theirselves. Gaining weight is what PCOS loves the most.
  2. Visit your OB-gyne regularly so they can see if there’s improvement or any other procedure to be done. They will also help you in your future pregnancy.
  3. Try using Anion Napkin, it is clinically tested and proven that it has health benefits. It eases the cramps, lessen the odor during menstruation and help fights bacteria.
  4. Always be aware and love yourself.

Fellow people who has dry eyes and eye infection:

  1. As much as possible, don’t scratch your eyes. It will make your eyes swollen, reddish, teary and kinda painful. Cover a small ice in a clean cloth and just pat it to your closed eyes, not that much pressure as we don’t want our eyes to have a blurry vision after. Do this every time your eyes are irritated.
  2. Always clean your surroundings, dust can really irritate your eyes.
  3. Don’t stay up super late as it makes our eyes super tired.

Thankfully I don’t have any other health issues other than those mentioned above hahaha. Just don’t go look and search over the internet the symptoms you are currently experiencing now. It will not help you, it will only make you paranoid and depressed. You will overthink and it will be the cause to deteriorate your health. Don’t overthink, just enjoy your life ( but still be responsible for your actions) and keep on fighting. Don’t lose hope even how ill you are. Help yourself, because even if the people surrounding you are helping you it’s useless. No one can really help you fight these diseases but you yourself. Always seek advice from the doctors. They know what to do and what to say. They will help you get better. Lean to your family and friends, they will support you and be there for you. Talk to HIM, he will definitely make you feel healthy, mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually.

Photo credit to : https://www.instagram.com/bonlirasan/

I’m Hurt But I’m Worthy!

“Am I not worthy?”

Have you asked yourself this kind of question?If yes, have you found the answer? What made you ask yourself this kind of question? Are you in pain? Are you okay?

I’m always asking myself this kind of question, most especially when I’m scrolling and scanning my timeline. The people who are close to my heart fitfully hurt me, or maybe I’m just so sensitive I tend to overthink and get jealous easily. I don’t know. My birthday has passed by and I hide my birthdate on my profile so no one can know, except for those people who really remember and knows it by heart. I’m getting few messages from my family until my uncle’s wife greeted me by posting it on my timeline then rest who saw it greeted me as well and posted my old pictures with them. There are few who greeted me but I know they are genuine. A month after, it was one of my childhood friend’s birthday, lot’s of people greeted her and I got jealous and sad when I saw some people who I truly love and care for greeted her. Those people didn’t even greeted me the way they greeted her, some didn’t greet me at all! Talk about years (when I say years it means yeeeeaaaaaaarrrrrrs) of friendship. I started doubting my worth to them, I started to distance myself again to them. Shallow isn’t it? Maybe I just expected them to care for me the way I want them to. Same month I had a petty fight with one of my friend because of my T-shirt she misinterpreted my joke and I sarcastically like her post in social media, after that incident I asked my self the same question. I caught my ex-boyfriend cheating on me many times even after being faithful and loyal to him (read Thank You Ex!). Is this only my worth to them? I started to doubt my self. I started to regret things. I started to count the things I’ve done for them.

My heart aches while writing this blog, I feel my heart is being crushed by something I can’t describe. It feels as if it’s going to explode any moment. I’m tired of proving my self to other. I’m tired or proving my worth to others. I’m tired of pretending I’m not hurt when I truly does. I’m just tired.

I’m hurting yes but, I’m thinking of what my friend told me, “Don’t ever doubt your self worth, You’re worth is more than enough, You are worthy.” Yes he is right. I’am worthy. I’m feeling down, feeling tired and emotionally exhausted and it’s normal, but I should also help myself to get out from these emotions I’m feeling now. Keep on thinking that you are worthy. You know your worth. WE know our worth. We just have to breathe and stay positive. It’s okay to let it out once in a while. Looking at the brighter side of the darkest situation you might be and currently facing. And the most important part? Think of your family who loves you unconditionally.

“Your worth is more than what you think of. Don’t think your worth is equivalent to the word JUST, because you are not. You are worthy!”