Loving A Heartbreak

Having a broken heart is the worst feeling you can ever experience. You will feel tightness, heaviness and actual pain in your chest and stomach. As if someone tries to burn your heart. As if someone is pounding at your heart. May it be heartbreak from breaking up with your partner, feeling alone and lost, losing your friends and family members and the likes.

But I believe in loving a heartbreak, weird isn’t it? Why would people need to love it when they want to get over it? But that is the logic of it, you have to love it so you can get over it (unless you really don’t want to get over it and just ruin your self for someone who cannot stop damaging you).

How to do it? Below is my opinion on how to:

  1. Acceptance – you have to wake up and face the reality, accepting that your time with someone has already ended. I know that it’s hard to accept the fact that someone broke your heart, it’s hard to accept that what you had with someone is not special anymore, it’s hard to accept that you lost someone forever, but know what’s harder? To be trapped inside the world you created just to please someone who just doesn’t care. To be waiting for someone who doesn’t have any plans on returning. Feel the pain, it will help you to open your eyes and there, you will start to accept everything.
  2. Forgiveness – forgiving someone who isn’t sorry is the bravest thing you can do. It’s a hard step to do, but very lightest way to move on. Forgive yourself as well, just because the person broke your heart that doesn’t mean you haven’t done anything wrong. Assess yourself and forgive yourself. Forgive yourself but never doubt yourself, you are more than enough. Forgive yourself for being in that situation. Just like the old saying says “Forgive and forget”. Forgiving someone is not easy, it needs a right time. Don’t hurry things up, time will come and automatically you will give that to the person and to your self.
  3. Don’t regret – don’t regret or think you have wasted your time hanging out with someone who ended up breaking your heart. You enjoyed those times together, you smiled, you laughed and you loved every bits of that moment so why regret things? Instead of wasting your time and energy regretting about it, start to think about what you have learned and how it molded you to be a strong person than before. Always opt for number 1 and it will be easier.
  4. Let go – let it all go and move on. Easier said than done, but you have to let go. Don’t hold grudges to someone because you will end up hurting yourself. It’s fine to be mad at them because you have a reason and it’s normal but you have to let go. Don’t hold on and cling to someone who wants to walk away, let them go. Learn to value yourself.

It’s okay to be sad, it’s okay to be mad, it’s okay to be heartbroken but loving all of it will give you peace of mind and heart, and a realization in life.

Always remember, it’s okay not to be okay, it’s normal to feel pain.

Loving a heartbreak will teach you that everything takes time and effort. Loving a heartbreak will make you stronger. Loving a heartbreak will open a new door for you, a new path to walk with to a better future and better you.

The Formula Of Prejudice: Colors + Judgement * Ignorance = Racism

Are people classified based on the color of the skin? Can a person judge another person by his color instead of his personality and character? Is it okay to mock and bully someone because they are somehow not of your own color and has a different language?

I mentioned in my previous post, “Life As An Overseas Worker”, that I was racially profiled. Because I’m Asian, some people see me as an ingrate, a gold digger– a person who will do anything for money. Some see me as a sex worker. Some will question my true intention. And some will treat me differently from others because I’m Asian. Just last March, I was told to “Just find an old white man.” It seems like she thinks I’m after an American guy for my convenience and advantage. Just because I dated a guy who happens to be an American doesn’t mean I’m after him because of where he came from.

I’m still fortunate compared to others who are being racially profiled with violence attached to it. Some are wrongfully convicted and harassed, why? Because they are black. Some are being bullied at work and by customers, why? Because they are Hispanic. Some are being maltreated, why? Because they are Asian, especially now that there’s a battle versus COVID-19. Some are being taken advantage of, why? Because they are Caucasian. Some are being feared of, why? Because they are from the Middle East. Some are being a laughing stock, why? Because they can’t fully communicate in English. And then the cycle will repeat and rotate. All will be shared the same sufferings.

Your words and actions show your true color. Just because you are different from others doesn’t mean you are above them or below them. Words, laughter, and the way you look can kill a person.

Self-entitlement cannot save a person from dying. A person who comes up with his own “privilege” will be soon forgotten. Arrogance will forever be a person’s ID but being righteous will forever be engraved in everyone’s heart and memory.

Racism might not end as the past generations already classified us by the color of our skin and by the shape of our tongue, we cannot change that, it’s already in our history books. But what we can change is the future by being the true judge of the true colors, by being used to the word “equality” and by accepting one another regardless of where they came from, regardless of their ethnicity and regardless of their colors.

No one is born a racist, it was taught by others. If you can learn racism, for sure you can learn equality and the difference between acceptance, prejudice and ignorance. It’s your call.

Life As An Overseas Worker

Are you currently working or still studying and considering of working somewhere, may it be in your own country or abroad? Still uncertain?

I’m currently working abroad for 5 ages now, in 4 different companies. Yep! that’s a lot of companies considering its only 5 years. I have mentioned it in “You Deserve It!” as to why I have to keep on shifting jobs. Regrets? Other than not seeing my dad for 2 years before he passed away, I have nothing to regret. Is it hard? Yes, it is really difficult! Especially now that the globe is experiencing war with COVID19, the feeling of yearning to be with your family just to guarantee their safety and to support them emotionally and physically. It’s hard to be apart from your family, I missed a lot of; birthdays, festivals, weddings, family gatherings, Christmas’, new years and so forth. It’s hard not to see them, hold them, kiss them, cry with them and laugh with them. How about video calling them? Yes it is the most accessible way to see them but, I’m working here in the Middle East, and in this country, a video call isn’t that easy to use. Messenger call, Whatsapp call, and Skype are all blocked, I have to try several apps and VPNs until I stumbled upon zoom, but my mom is not a techie, so even if it’s easy to use, it’s kinda difficult for her.

Some people here are really nice and kind, especially the locals, it’s their country yet other expats like me think they own the place by the way they act. I’m of Asian descent and I have been verbally discriminated and racially profiled. At first, it was really hurtful, but as time passes by, I just don’t let it get into my nerves, it’s not worthy of time. Even how hard you explain yourself to them, they will not listen. I actually pity those kinds of people, why? Because they are insecure, cannot move on and humiliating themselves to society. Hopefully one day, there will be no people who will judge you by the shade of your skin and by your ethnicity, let’s also include people who have disabilities.

Do I earn a lot? Hhhhmmm compared to what I’m making when I was still working in my country, yes. Because the exchange rate is high, so my wage is high as well– at least if it’s converted to peso. I’m living and renting a room in a villa with 2 people. Lucky me, the rent is not expensive and it’s near to my office. But most people are going for a bedspace as it is really affordable. Bedspace is renting either, the upper or the lower bed of the double-deck in a room with other 6 people. There’s also called partition, wherein you will rent a small space inside a room, having your privacy compared to bed spacer as landlords built a thin wooden wall to separate you from other tenants. If you are fortunate enough to have a high salary, then you can rent a flat.

Perks of working overseas? Excellent salary package, great insurance if you are in a good company, you get to travel oftentimes as it is more affordable and accessible, extensive connection- new friends and families, got the chance to engage with different nationalities and learn their cultures, let’s say it will develop your communication skills since English is the universal language and you don’t have any option but to use it to interact, a yearly plane ticket for my annual leave, big servings of food (in my country foods are expensive plus the servings are too small), and molding you to be a great independent person. If you are in western countries, then the chance of acquiring citizenship is plausible.

Life as an overseas worker is not as easy as it appears to be. Some people believe that working abroad makes us wealthy and it’s sad because some friends or relatives will ask you favor, and if you can’t give them what they asked for, you are a selfish person in their eyes and will compare you to other overseas workers. People have different types of work and a sense of responsibility which they don’t seem to understand. You need to adjust to their cultures, rules and abide their law. I have to be away from my family so I can support them and provide what they need. Give them what I want them to have. I have to work harder so I can reward myself for doing a great job. There are days I have to eat merely this type and kind of food so I can save more. Of course, there are also days that I will eat and pig out and go to an expensive beanery. I’m quite fortunate compared to other overseas workers who barely eat and sleep properly just to earn more and send money to their families. Am I happy? So-so, pleased that I can provide what my family needs and wants, I can somehow buy what I want. And just what I’ve been telling the whole time, sad and hard because I’m away from my family. Sacrificing is what overseas workers do all the time. Homesickness is a powerful enemy of us. The word says it all. Courage is our shield and Family is what motivates us.