Believe It, It’s Unbelievable!

“One day’s burden is enough for one day” – Matthew 6:34.

I decided to watch the series Unbelievable in Netflix yesterday and it really affected me emotionally. I was thinking maybe other people are in this kind of situation. In the situation where MARIE experienced it for years.

The story is all about a girl, raped, bullied and outcasted by the people around her, people whom she cared and trusted. She was raped, accused and charged for falsifying her claims of rape because there was no evidence collected at the crime scene, no suspect and her demeanor after the incident was off.

At first everyone sympathizes with her, but because of how the way she act and her attitude made her former foster parent doubt and discussed about it to the police which later on resulted for them to believe the foster parent.

Unknowingly, another similar incidents happened and two detectives who happened to be women, both from different pd, worked on the case when they learned their cases have similarities. They created a team and caught the serial rapist after 3 years of a hard work. They also found out that Marie is really telling the truth since the evidence showed up from the hard drive of the suspect. To make the story short, the city where Marie lives got a refund of $500 (she paid the fine for “falsely reporting a crime”) and won a law suit of $150,000 which she used to start a new life. The suspect, was sentenced to 327 years in prison.

It was a really great series, I feel pity for the victims especially to Marie, for battling and suffering alone, for what she experienced — no one deserves to experience what they had gone through— what she had gone through. But she was a strong woman, she managed to stay composed, managed to stand still and fight for her self. She managed to face the day by herself. They are all strong. The smile they wear everyday, the hope they have and to deal with the trauma made them so strong. Kudos to them!

This series is an eye opener, just because a person doesn’t behave the way you wanted them to be means they are not telling the truth or nothing good comes from them. People reacts differently. Supporting and tolerating are two different words with different meanings. Supporting them doesn’t mean you are tolerating them. Supporting them means you are teaching them to be strong enough and have the courage to change for their own good.

Additional note to all, stop blaming the victim. Living alone, wearing short or revealing clothes and looks flirty doesn’t mean they wanted to be raped. Rapist will rape you even if you are wearing elephant pants and jacket in summer, anytime of the day. Rapist will rape you if they really want to.

Support them, show that they are not alone on this battle.

Have a safe day people!

The Warmth of Armenia

Having fun is the best medicine to relieve stress and there are so many things how to do it— traveling is on the top of the list (I assume, how about you?)

I went to Armenia and stayed there for 5 days and I was still lucky to at least experience their winter which later on resulted to almost losing my voice for a month (My voice was so raspy one employee of the hostel I was staying at thought I was a man inside the girl’s washroom hahaha!). It is a budget-friendly country for tourists.

Armenia is the home of Mt. Ararat, where Noah’s Ark believed to be resting inside. Yerevan as the capital city and is the largest city of the country not to mention it is among the oldest continuously inhabited cities in the world. World’s first Christian country.

It took us 30 minutes to travel from the airport to the city proper which our hostel was located, I stayed in Vagary Hostel which is very cheap and a nice place to stay. The owner was so accommodating and they are a wonderful person even their son. Every day the owner will visit us and check if we are enjoying our stay. Bringing vodka that is waaaaaay too strong but tasty. They even arrange the tour for us and waited for us to get back to the hostel.

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after buying the ice cream at Yerevan Square

We first visit Yerevan Square, taking pictures and appreciating the old buildings and the atmosphere, it’s like you were in a modern – medieval era. The locals are also very accommodating, we were walking and saw an ice cream stand, we were in the line when they noticed us and let us go through first, we were hesitant because it was kind of a long cue plus they also have children with them but they insisted and also the child was smiling at us pointing the ice cream stand and so we obliged. We believed (I) that they were not used to having a tourist in their country but I know for a fact that some are still visiting Armenia. The cute part is they thought we are Chinese but no we don’t have the chinky eyes and super fair skin Chinese use to have (some Filipinos also have a fair skin tho). after taking photos, looking around and buying groceries for our dinner (yep! we are being super thrifty haha) we went back to the hostel and started cooking our dinner, chatting to each other and drinking. Oh, and by the way, I just met them at the airport!

while riding the ski lift alone! some part still has snow where we are going unfortunately I can’t find a decent photo to share hahaha

After a fun and relaxing night, we first went out to Echimiazin, it was the first cathedral that was built in the country and the world’s oldest (correct me if I’m wrong). The main church is under re-construction but still open for the public to pray. We saw a parade of priests and sacristans inside, it’s very rare for me to see it personally it’s like you were pulled back in time. After that, we went to Tsaghkadzor which is almost an hour drive and we were pretty much excited to experience the snow (no snow in our country and where I’m working at lol). Ski lifts brought us to the other side of the mountain to enjoy the scenery, so when we arrived there, we were like in a war—snowball fight! it brings out the kid inside me, us. After we got tired we went back to the van and visit Kecharis Monastery which is a medieval monastic complex dating back to the 11th to 13th centuries. Since we all woke up late and headed out late we decided to go back to the hostel. That night we go out for a drink and went to 90’s Cafe Pub, it is the most popular pub in Yerevan and the cue going inside was kinda long (when we arrive there). We had a blast that night, we get to meet people who became our friends hang out, danced and chatted with them for the rest of the night.

It’s a marathon for me to reach Khor Virap hahaha

On our 3rd day we woke up early had our breakfast and headed out again, we decided to go first to Lake Sevan, since it’s winter it is super cold, even when we were wearing our jackets you can still feel cold. While we were sightseeing and looking around before going up the hill to visit the church, one local vendor handed me a moonstone I was actually returning it back to her since I don’t want to buy it but she told me it’s a gift from her and I was so thankful I ended up buying a bundle of key chains to give to my friends. After taking several photos, we decided it’s time to go to the church and the view was so beautiful plus the weather. In Lake Sevan, you will see different monasteries and cemetery. After that, we went to Khor Virap where St. Gregory the Illuminator, the first official head of the catholic church was imprisoned for 14 years and when I saw the monastery at the top of the hill (not that it’s high but it’s still high for me) I blurted out “That’s too high! Are we really going to walk that far?!” (I’m not a fan of walking if there are staircases lol) they just laughed at me and I don’t have a choice but to walk and climb the stairs. But when we reached the peak, it feels so amazing, the wind touching my face and the scenery.

the marathon was worth it! my unsuccessful jump shot hahah

The view of Mt. Ararat was breathtaking. After appreciating and looking around the monastery we headed to Noravank Monastery, just by going to the monastery makes our eyes even fuller. The view, scenery, color of the sky, the road itself is already entertaining, not too wide not too narrow and it’s like someone dug out just so we can go to the monastery. When we arrived there, breathtaking is an underrated word, I cannot find the exact words to describe what I’ve felt when I got there. The sunset also made huge participation in making the place more beautiful. Since it’s a 1-hour drive from Khor Virap to Noravank and 2-hour drive to Yerevan. We decided to go home straight and just rest for a bit and walk around the city again trying to discover where to buy souvenirs which we found in Yerevan Square but kinda expensive compared to other shops behind the Square.

the photobomber in Noravank Monastery
the eternal flame inside Tsitsemakaberd Memorial in Yerevan, flowers are offered to Armenians who died

4th day, I slept late so I woke up late. My roommate saw me going to the washroom and she followed me, I was still inside the cubicle when I heard my roommate talking to someone. Then I came out and when the receptionist saw me who happens to be the one my roommate is talking with, smiled and looked like she’s embarrassed and started talking Russian (their language). I don’t have any idea what’s happening until my roommate burst out laughing, and explained to me what happened. The housekeeper walked inside the washroom and since my roommate who was standing in front of the mirror while talking to me, she thought that there’s a man inside girl’s washroom (hahaha my voice was already raspy and since I just woke up it gave me the sound of a man’s voice). They were so shy and embarrassed about what happened, they re-open the free breakfast for me even if it’s already past 11:00 AM and made me a pot of mint tea. We were all laughing at what happened. It was already late so we decided to just stay inside the hostel, then the owner came and invited us to go to Tsitsemakaberd Memorial since they are commemorating the lives that were perished during the war between Armenia and Turkey. It’s like a museum with photos hanging and displayed inside. We went outside and waited for our turn to see the fire surrounded by flowers given by the people to pay respect and commemorate the lives of thousands of Armenian. It was really an honor for us to be a part of that historical event. Imagine of us being proud because we didn’t see any Filipinos or Asians in that event. Thanks to the owner of the hostel who really exert so much effort just to keep us accommodated. I also made a special bond with the owner’s wife, we were linking our arms as we are walking, keep on chatting about my life, her kids and what we love doing. She bought cotton candy for me and when we came back to the hostel, she asked me to go with her to the grocery store-bought Ice cream, peanuts, chocolates, and other foods for me (all of them really made my voice worse but I still ate them) I was really touched by her gesture and I really appreciated it. Well when other guests saw what she bought for me, they envied me (hahaha but I shared it with them of course).

5th day, It’s the last day and we were preparing our things and ourselves for check out. It was really a sad day because we already got attached with the people in Armenia most especially to the people who we are with everyday, the receptionist who became our friend, we are still in contact with her to this day, to the owners and to other people who are in our group (sadly most of them are out of reach already so I don’t know their whereabouts now).

Those uncaptured memories that are forever in your hearts are the most genuine thing you could ever asked for, sure the photos made you remember. But what’s behind that photos are the reason the smile on your face was carved forever.

Travelling is a learning, learning is a living. We travel to learn not only the culture and the history of the place but to learn how to mingle with different races, be friends with different people, become a family with them and have trust on them. There will always be a language barrier but this doesn’t stop us to know them. It doesn’t stop us to be good to one another. You will also learn how to de-stress while travelling, putting everything behind and just enjoying where you are. It will also bring out the best in us..the kid in us.. And we live to learn, we are learning endless things. And by learning, we live our lives to the fullest, we live our lives to be the best we can be.

Love, Future You!

Dear Past Me,

How are you doing? Are you alright?

I know you are in a hard situation right now but everything will be okay. I believe in you. You are strong, don’t mind those people who only used you, they are temporary yes but don’t let them affect what and who you are forever. Don’t dwell too much in the past please, don’t hurt yourself too much ‘coz those people doesn’t deserve your attention and affection. You’ve done enough. All that matters are your true friends and family. You are one step closer to having a good life. Hang in there, all your sleepless nights and hardship will be paid off.

Me? I’m doing great thanks to you, because of your strength I’m complete and contented. I’m happy where I’am, extra thanks to your experiences and hardwork I have a stable and wonderful job now. I have few friends but they are for keeps, no user friendly in the circle now lol! I also have established and started the business you really like, hoping to expand since it’s a great hit! Yeah, I still work even if there’s business, that’s what you like and now I like it also. Our brother has a good position in a company now, still addicted to volleyball though. Mama is still healthy and kicking! Laughing as loud as she can like before. Regrets? you know it already (read My First Love Left Me) and I don’t regret anything other than that because I have learned so much from it, the decisions and the choices you’ve made and I know you will still be making, taught me how to become a better, stronger and not so vulnerable person. Someday, when you reach me, you’ll be super proud of yourself and stop belittling yourself. Just trust on yourself and HIM.

I know you will be smiling while reading this letter of mine, you really worked your self out so hard and I owe you big time for everything I have now. Hoping you’ll stay stronger and stop thinking of hurting yourself goodness! Oh and by the way I have 2 kids now and 1 on the way! Happily married with the guy you really really dreamed of (he is a catch, nice one past me!) They are so adorable. They are just like you, strong and compassionate. I can’t wait for you to meet them.

Love,

Future You!

It’s not bad to boast and say good things to yourself every now and then, It’s kinda embarrassing but it will be of great help, it’s like tapping your own shoulder while saying “Good Job! You did great!”. It will make you feel better and more motivated so that what your future you can truly come true. Have you thanked your past you already? Or you are still in the process to become the better version of you?

(photo ctto)

You Deserve It!

Life consists of ups and downs, it won’t give you a pure bliss..it won’t give you just laughter..and it won’t definitely give you a straight path to walk to.

When I first entered the outside world (career world) I thought it will be easy, I thought I will be on the top—-no.

I joined an airline company and oh boy! it was really really a tough job. Talking to an irate passenger, talking to a non-English speaking passenger, profiling the passenger if they can travel (infants, sick person, pregnant woman). Always be cautious not to fret the passengers when there’s a prison inmate that will board the plane with them. Explain to passengers why flights are delayed and cancelled all over again right after announcing it and so on. But mind you, working in an airline company doesn’t give you the privilege to earn a lot of money (idk with other airline tho) except for the cabin crews and captains ofcourse (ground crew here! lol). But it does give you the privilege to be commended by the passengers you helped with and by the management who appreciate your hardwork in the field. The privilege to feel contented and happy seeing your passengers smiling and appreciating you. I love my job even if I had a few hours of sleep and most of the time staying at the airport to work even in my days off but I have to step down, take it slow and consider what my family requested. So I resigned and joined the local municipality of our town, still in line with Tourism which I studied in college.

After a year, I decided to go abroad and apply for work (which I partly regretted it– you can take a look on my first blog “My first love left me” ). On my 2nd week, I found a job but the owner keeps on hitting on me and harassing me by trying to touch my private parts so I left the job. I didn’t file a complain to the police ‘coz I don’t have a working visa that time so I tried looking for another job but got unlucky until 2 months later someone hired me, it’s a restaurant and it’s my first time to work in F&B and with that, I really work so hard until the HR who also happens to be my fellow country men told me that they cannot process my visa yet but they will provide whatever I need (another tourist visa). My initial plan was to take the salary I worked for a month and half then resign but again I got unlucky, my visa has expired, so I need to exit and buy another visa. They told me they will give my salary when I came back which never happened. I gave them 2 weeks to give me my salary and reimburse my visa expenses but I didn’t receive anything so I just left the restaurant and felt really down and stupid at that moment, I’m so broke in a city where my family is far from me. I have relatives who helped me but ofcourse I cannot ask their full support since they have their own family to support as well. But heaven is still good to me after I left, the restaurant closed because there’s only few diner left and the government issued them letter to close because of hygiene issues.

After 3 months, I got hired again and I’m lucky because they gave me working visa or so I thought. People are good there, my director is good but how he ran the company is not that great. People started taking advantage of him until our salaries got delayed, almost 2 months. My increment which they promised never took place, I wasn’t able to save that much and after working with him for 2 years, I didn’t renew my visa.

Then unexpected things happened, the year after quitting my job was the worst year of my life (see again “My First Love Left Me” ) I was hired by this laboratory, after my interview I got a call and offer the same day. I started working with them, everything seems to be okay they waited for me when I have to go home for my father’s funeral. Going back, I got offloaded 2 times (immigration was so hard on me huhubels) on my 3rd time, they finally stamped my passport. So I got back and started working but things started to be kinda off, but I just shrugged it off and not bother. But that was a mistake, salaries are always delayed and on installment basis, I signed for a secretarial post but later on became the Receptionist, Accountant (which I don’t have any background nor studied and work experience), HR and Collection Officer plus I have to call and set an appointment for my manager and doctors while doing all those tasks. I have 2 phones in front of me, only 1 computer and I still have to take care of the technicians who cannot work properly without my guidance to think I don’t know how to do what they are doing! (I’m getting hyped up just remembering it). I asked them if they can hire even one person who can help me because before I joined this lab there’s 4 people who are doing it. But they just told me learn to manage my time, yeah right! I’m calling for a collection while doing invoices while following up the cases to be delivered from the technicians while following up to the drivers the pick up request from clinics while answering the calls from the clinics and suppliers and while calling for applicants who are applying for technician, oh and not to mention going out to buy office supplies and picking up the boss’ son from school! My working hours is from 8:30am to 7:00pm sometimes until 10:00pm without overtime pay and I still have to work while eating my lunch. (ranting too much?haha sorry about that). I’m the one to be blamed if the case haven’t arrive to the doctors outside the country yet even if I’m following it up to the customs, I’m the one to be blamed if there’s no tissue and alcohol, and also when the bidet inside the washroom is not working, could you believe that?! Then I have had enough! I resigned, not because of the workload but because of the delayed salary and the management ( I know it’s not reasonable but what can I do? I need to support my mom who is having a therapy, my brother still doesn’t have a job that time, my father just died, I need to pay their bills and my bills here abroad, my house rent, my food and theirs, my fare everyday to go to work). Imagine not having a single penny during Christmas and New Year because they hold your salary while other employees already got theirs. I filed a complain in labour and luckily I’ve won.

I got so depressed of what’s happening to my life that time. Thinking that I should have died instead of my father, I’m not a better person, I’m not a good daughter and sister, I’m at this age and yet I’m still broke I still didn’t accomplish anything from what I planned and dreamed of. Thinking what have I done to go through all of this. It’s like I’m laughing but crying inside, I’m breathing but dead inside.

I was so so near in giving up until I received an email. One company invited me for a job interview and so I gave it a try. I got hired after 2 weeks of being a bum! I told to myself ‘if this won’t work out I’ll just go home’.

Everyone is telling me that my Director is a good man, indeed he is really a good and wonderful man and his family. My brother had to go to the hospital and so I asked if I can have a salary advance, without saying anything he opened his wallet and gave me the amount I was asking for. We have a big event to organize and since we finished setting it up early, he invited me over to their place, I told him I will just stay there but he doesn’t want me to be left alone. His exact words are, “I will not leave you alone here, I will not let you eat by yourself. Let’s go to my place, my wife cooked food. Let’s eat, take a rest and then come back.” So we go to his place, I played with his sooo cutie patootie son and ate the food which her wife cooked (it was so delicious that I decided to break my diet that time haha). My director knows how to run his company well. He is not micro managing us and he is giving our salary on time, so on time that I will get it sometimes on 23rd of the month! My colleagues are nice as well. I’m only a month old that time in my company yet he allowed me to take 2 weeks leave and go home to commemorate my father’s first death anniversary. This blog won’t be enough to tell how a great man he is and how grateful and blessed I’am to have him as my boss and to work in this company. I just hope the business will further boom and will be a conglomerate because he is the type of person who deserve it and will still be stepping on the ground, helping those who are in need.

It took me years to find the right person to work with and the job worth working for, not that my previous jobs were not worth it but compared to my current one I’ll say it really is worth all the hardships I faced before. After experiencing everything I’ve been and gone through, I can finally feel that I’m a deserving person. I deserve what I have and will have in the future.

People who are suffering from pain, feeling of being neglected, sadness and hardships tend to think they are weak and useless because they are in that kind of situation. WE are in that kind of situation. But NO! Those who are feeling those kind of things and in that situation are the strongest ones. Everything happens for a reason, so if you are in such situation right now. Don’t worry, your patience, determination and hard work will be paid off. Happiness will come into your way just like what happened to me. So stand up and use your experience to become the person you want to be. You’ll soon find it because You Deserve It! and who knows maybe it will happen to you right this moment.

A Glimpse of Mila’s and Bugoy’s

Nothing beats a stolen shot–a candid photo.

I was browsing my photos and saw this one. My lips automatically formed a wide smile. It’s my mom and dad dancing, I don’t know but it gives me a classic romance comedy feels. They were still boyfriends-girlfriends by the time this photo was taken.

They are not a perfect couple, Mom will rant and my dad will just scratch his head look at me and my brother then smile which irritates my mom even more and when this happen, all three of us will laugh and then my mom will really get mad. But if my dad gets mad she will just stay quiet. They never, ever hurt each other physically though. Since they are quite old, we will just see my dad putting ointment on my mom’s back and legs and my mom will also do the same. My dad will make coffee for the two of them and my mom always reminds him and give him his medications. Everytime my dad drives fast my mom will complain and he will just laugh but slow down a little bit. My mom will lecture my dad about the do’s and don’ts but end up giving and cooking the don’ts for my dad. My mom says she will just hear my dad sneak out of bed and open the fridge, she will just laugh but grill my dad the next morning. My dad relies on my mom very much like a child. There was a news of a tsunami hitting our little town, we are all so ready to go far from home. But my parents decided to stay behind and guard our house and belongings, I asked my mom why don’t they just go with us, her answer “I cannot leave your father behind, we will be okay and we will be in touch”. Thankfully it was a false news. My dad was a basketball player and my mom was his number 1 fan. My father ran for councilor and my mom supported him, walking and running to post his posters and give leaflets and cards. Always shouting “Bugoy!” during meal and medicine time. Always asking “Where is your mom / Mila?” whenever he didn’t see her inside our house. They are kinda sweet to each other but not the typical sweetness you will see in a couple.

I have this one moment with my dad, we were outside of my cousin’s house and having some random chats when I asked him, “Pa how did you met mama? Is she like this before? (I was pertaining about my mom’s armalite mouth lol!peace ma!haha). He gazed up the stars and I think he unconsciously smile or really smile I don’t know lol, start caressing his knee and “I met your mom thru common friend, they hang out inside our boat (my father was a seaman that time) and I noticed her the first time I saw her (love at first sight?lol) and she is not like this before, because of the problems she became like this” and I can see my father’s eyes, full of love, like in anime or cartoons where you will see diamonds and hearts on the character’s eyes and as if he can see the past by looking at the stars. At that moment, I knew the love they have for each other never fades. They are like cats and dogs but the love is still there (geez my tears fell down remembering this moment with him. Wish I could still have this kind of chat with him).

Since they both worked and met in Dubai, I thought they got married because he got my mom pregnant not until his burial ( read My First Love Left Me) He married my mom 2 years prior of me welcoming by the world. Whenever me and my mom have a small chat, she will reminisce the day when he was still alive, always talking as if my dad is still around.

Feels nostalgic by looking at this photo, it brings me back to the time when everyone is happy. When no one bids farewell. They are not the power couple hollywood has, not the king and queen of one’s nation, not the disney princess and prince but definitely the couple I will forever cherish and look up for, the role model couple that will be my forever idols. The couple I will be forever grateful for letting me and my brother see and experience what the world and life can offer. The couple on this picture that I will be forever thankful for loving us unconditionally, for protecting and providing us what we want and need, by being the wonderful parent and best friends. Thank you mama and papa! You will always be the parents I want to have and will dream and wish for my next life.

Cliche: Perfectly Imperfect

Nowadays people are having a hard time building confidence and accepting their own flaws. Why? Because there are some people out there that instead of helping you build your confidence, they will point out your flaws and start making fun of it.

I’ll be honest, as in really really honest on this blog. My confidence is not that high, I don’t know if it’s an average or below average level of being confident. I don’t have the face like an angel, I don’t have the body like a model, I don’t have the talent like any artists has. I’m “overweight” and most people around me seems like to have a problem with that. I’ve been called for so many names, “Pork”, “Wild Boar”, “Whale Shark”, “Puffer Fish” and the likes. When I’m moving and bump or hit someone accidentally they will say “You’re so big that’s why”, when I feel hungry and tell people about that I’ll just hear them saying “What’s new?That’s why you are big because you keep on eating.”, if I’m on diet and suddenly eats half of small chicken without rice or bread or anything they will say “Aren’t you on diet?Why are you eating?”, whenever I’m looking to some clothes and people noticed it they will just say “It won’t look good on you because that is only for slim people”. It hurts, and I’m offended of those harsh comments. For some people, it’s just a joke. It’s their way of motivating you. But does it help? For me, not all the time it works. I’m hurt of what I’ve heard from those people and my personality, the more I get hurt, the more I get stressed the more I eat. Reverse psychology doesn’t help all the time. People will think ‘I will say negative things about you so you’ll get motivated’—– stop! Think before you speak.

My unsolicited advice for those who think pointing out ones flaws help:

  1. Never ever call us names not intended for us. Our parents gave us name for petesake! (unless it’s an endearment for you to be called out pig or pork or whale shark or fat ass! you can joke at us once or twice but think, is it really funny?or it’s kinda offensive?). This also applies to those who are petite and slim.(Don’t call them stick, bamboo, lizard or the likes)
  2. Don’t blame our body if we accidentally bump or hit you. Look at the space, is it wide or narrow?
  3. Everyone has the same feeling, just because we don’t have the same size doesn’t mean we don’t have the right to be hungry, wear swim suit and wear whatever clothes we want so don’t degrade us if we want to do something or eat something.
  4. Don’t over react if you saw our pimple/s popping out or reddish, it’s normal. You won’t get the bacteria unless you touch it. Everyone can have a pimple.
  5. Don’t laugh if our make-up is not good and have uneven eyebrows or eyeliners. Instead, teach us how to properly use them, how to properly even those uneven.
  6. Instead of saying bad things about our appearance, why not say “Hey, I’m going for a jog, wanna come along. It’s fun to have someone jogging with”, “You’re on diet?Great! Let me help you search a meal plan for you, dieting is not about eating less, it’s about eating healthy!”, “This one will look more good on you”, “I’m using this skin care products you can try them if you want, maybe the one you are using doesn’t suit your skin type” or just any positive words that will definitely boost our confidence and motivate us. Support us not demoralise us.
  7. Think before you speak. Words can kill just so you know. Give us inspiration not depression.

And my unsolicited advice for my fellow low self-esteemed people:

  1. If you hear something that’s not really good for your ear?Let it just slip through your ears. I know it’s hard but you should also help yourself and try.
  2. Eat whatever you want to eat as long as it’s for your own good.
  3. You are not fat, you are just easy to see. You are not slim/petite you are just cute for their size. So don’t sit and cry at the corner.
  4. Don’t dwell too much on what they are saying. You don’t have to change because of them. Change because you want to improve yourself. Be your own enemy.
  5. Talk to your family and friends, they will joke on you yes but they always got your back.
  6. Voice out what you want to answer to them but in a nice and witty way, don’t get provoked. Don’t get into a fight, it’s not worth it. Let them see that your manners are not like theirs.
  7. Be yourself and be happy. Surround yourself with true, loving and optimistic people. It will be of great help.
  8. If you want to be accepted. Accept yourself first. Love yourself. Embrace your flaws, help yourself and never ever doubt yourself.

I really don’t know what is the key to be an above average confident, but I’m in the process of having it. Thanks to the people who shows support and genuine care. I’m currently on diet, and hopefully I can share the process I’m doing (if this one doesn’t fail!hahah!) with you.

My Fight Song

One song says a lot for a person, whatever genre it is, if you can relate on it. You’ll connect your self to it. Mostly if a person is really heartbroken. Don’t deny it guys! haha.

You see, the journey to attain that goals are rough that sometimes people just want to give up, I for myself almost give up ( read You Deserved It!). But because of the positive vibes and support I received from my family and friends, I survived and not only that. One song really gives me the hope and somehow like fight for what I really want to achieve. It slapped me and realized that I’AM my masterpiece, I just have to go on, be strong and continue working for it. So everytime I’m feeling down and feeling stressed out, beside from my family’s advice. I will just go to ‘My Music’ and hit the play button of that song. It helps refresh and re-gain your motivation and good mood.

” I still fall on my face sometimes and I can’t color inside the lines ’cause I’m perfectly incomplete I’m still working on my masterpiece and I wanna hang with the greatest gotta way to go, but it’s worth the wait, no you haven’t seen the best of me I’m still working on my masterpiece “ – Jessie J (Masterpiece)

If you wanna be at your greatest, you have to work for it. If you want to be your own masterpiece, you have to be brave and take the risk. This song became my what people called Fight Song. What is your fight song?

Thank You Ex!

“Thank you for the brokenheart. And thank you for the permanent scar, ‘coz if it wasn’t for you I might forget how it feels to let go, how it feels to get a brand new start..” that’s the lyrics of J Rice’s song ‘ Thank You for the Broken Heart ‘ and that’s my song to the person I used to love–miel.

I’ve been in a relationship for 3 years with this person who is 4 years older than me. We don’t have the kind of relationship I used to dream of. Our worlds only rotates to each other. He will cancel his appointments just so I can’t go out with my friends, but his efforts were exceptional.

There’s no doubt I’ve loved him with all of me, but that leaves a huge question mark for me, Am I not good enough? I caught him cheating on me several times but of course no cheater will acknowledge their mistakes, instead they will put the blame on you. So after knowing he cheated on me, I still gave him a chance, and a chance, and a chance and a chance. What? I loved him and yes I’m kinda martyr. But ofcourse even though he cheated on me, he still does great things for me, I felt that he loved me but not as strong as he loved his first nor his second and even his third! lol, but the effort he exerted just to travel 1 hour going to my place leaves a huge impact. I loved him unconditionally and even prayed and dreamed of having a family with him. Even on my 3rd year anniversary of being single, I still loved him. I stalk his social media account as well as his sisters’ just to have an update of him.

I did had a hard time moving on, they told me to cut my hair so I can start moving on and it took me 3 hairstyles but I was still into him. I buried myself in work so I won’t think of him, I started hanging out with my friends just so I cannot remember the pain. But at the end of the day, I find myself staring blankly to something not realizing my tears had fallen from my eyes. Asking myself what have I done? Why can’t I have the chance I’ve given you? Why do you have to leave me when I needed you the most?( I was diagnosed of having a colitis and hirschsprung disease). I tried to make things work with him but I failed. He is just happy without me in his life, and I was miserable without him in mine.

We have lot’s of good memories but it was overshadowed by the arguments, confrontations, him cheating on me and the lies that we both throw to each other. But I’m okay now. People who knew us being a couple before asked me “What if he comes back? What if he want you back in his life again?” my answer is always “He will always have a special part in my life, But would I settle to this kind of person? No.”

I have moved on, and for being single for 7 years I can say I’m happy. For sure I miss those petty quarrels and stuffs but having a relationship with myself and HIM made me contented and happy.

My unsolicited advise is, just go with what you are feeling, wanna chase (please chase with good intention. Don’t try to hurt and stalk that person him/her?) that person? Go for it, people might tell you the otherwise but atleast there’s no ‘ What ifs’ running to your mind while moving on. It might be happy ending or extra pain but that’s fine, it will only help you to move on and realize it’s not really worth fighting for anymore. No closure? Sometimes not having a closure is a closure, think and tell to yourself “I’ve lived my life to the fullest before meeting him/her, I can do the same thing again after”. And PLEASE, don’t even try to think of committing suicide or trying to hurt yourself. Even if you do that it will only make the matter worst, will he come back to you? Maybe yes out of pity but more on no. Don’t blame yourself just because your relationship failed, don’t apologize because it failed. Instead be grateful because it will give you the chance to grow, it will give you the knowledge of how to love and respect yourself more than anyone else, it will give you the chance to meet the right one and be happy with your life. Be thankful because it will make you stronger and start a brand new life.


“Move on for a better you instead of moving on to stay the same you.”


Judge Us Not

Most of the people nowadays will judge you based on the course you’ve chosen to study in college.

I have been judged not by my family but by the people who barely know anything about me.

I studied Tourism Management (my cousin actually influenced me on this matter) and I’m proud of it. Studying Tourism Management is not that easy, well most of the people who thought that Tourism students and graduates only knows how to make theirselves beautiful, always holding make-up and wearing fancy high heels and dress. And it’s sad because when people knew what you’ve studied or studying will say “oh! you’re studying Tourism ONLY?why?”. I mean why do you have to ask why we choose to study Tourism but when people learned that you studied or studying Nursing, Education, Engineering and so on (I have nothing against to other courses) they won’t question your decision, instead they will congratulate you and wish you all the best you need.

Tourism will teach you how to become a certified tour guide, those sleepless nights just to memorize the destinations, tourist spots and attractions, town’s delicacies and the story of how one town was built, not to mention you need to create a funny or lively script for this so your tourists won’t get bored and their attention will be focused on you. You will also have to do research about that particular place, things, and food that cannot be found on the internet. You will have to think about how to entice your tourists. Then there’s a Tourism Planning subject wherein you will brainstorm with your classmates, friends, families, and professor how to determine and achieve the goals of the place, businesses, and tourists. How to implement the actions you have carefully studied so you can preserve or modernized the place. You also have to study and memorize the regions and it’s capital. Let’s say world geography! Airport code and country code which you can see on your tickets and on your boarding passes. The phonetic alphabet which you have to memorize but it’s not that hard tho. The thesis that you need to do for cruise management subject and tourism marketing. You have to memorize it all by the mind and by heart so you could graduate with flying colors and of course to apply it to your future work. Tourism will teach you how to differentiate the type of tourists according to their purposes. You will also learn that there is a Tourism law that provides a regulatory framework for the proper development and management of tourism activities. Which students and graduates had to study to be aware of the law protecting tourism and within it. The events you have to organize to showcase wonderful places in different countries. Tourism course will also mold your planning skills as you will be creating an itinerary for the tourists from the moment they wake up until they got back at the hotel, their safety is also your responsibility. Tourism will also help you boost your confidence as it is practicing and shaping you how to become a motivational speaker and an inspiring guide. It will groom you how to be you.

Tourism offers you knowledge not on how to properly put a make-up on but on how to be a better citizen of your nation than before. It gives us light on how to make our country attractive and inviting to other countries. I for myself already applied and still applying on what I’ve learned through those fruitful years in university.

People. Don’t ruin someone’s motivation and confidence just because your opinion is different. Instead of bashing, belittling and making them regret because of what they’ve decided to do, guide them and be an example.

To us who were judged because of what we have studied and studying, don’t mind them and don’t get mad or annoyed at them. Use them as a tool to be motivated to do better. Thank them for allowing the beast inside you to be fueled and be exceptional. We are who we are, don’t let it affect you and your decisions and choices in life. Just always aim high and prove to your self you are right!

Hand-made Invitation (Literally!)

You might be thinking that invitations are really handmade is this author nuts? But it really is handmade, except for the designing and printing stuff ofcourse.

One of my biggest dream is to start up my own events company, I already have plans and ideas but those are all kept inside the box for now —- atleast!

One day my colleague says that her sister will be having a wedding and looking for a good but cheap printing shop in our town, and I just suggested her myself and my other colleague (who also dreams the same thing). After telling us what the motif is, I started designing the inside of the invitation, I created 3 designs where our first clientele have chosen the picture shown in this post. Designing is not really hard, the cover is what made me cry and made my fingers almost bled. I designed the cover and how will it look like, so I created the pattern and start copying them in every sheets of the paper we will use as a cover. I gave the other half of the number of invitation to my partner so she can also cut the cover while I’m also doing the same thing. Team effort for the win!

First 3 cutting was okay, but as time goes by, I can feel the pressure. I can feel my fingers starting to get numb, I looked at my fingers and it looks like a molding tray lol! It is no joke to cut it most especially when it is a very detailed cover (which is basically my fault but hey! who doesn’t want to impress clients?) and ofcourse, it’s our first client so we wanted it to be perfect. We spent 3 days making the invitations, cutting here and there. It looks easy but it is not especially when the paper is 300GSM and design is curvy.

Finally we finished the cover and started to paste the inside and the ribbons. It feels so great to finish it and what makes it so fulfilling is knowing the bride loves the invitation, they even thought we used some type of stencil machine to cut it, but naahh. We used our delicate hands to make her invitations.

That’s why I called it handmade, we can go to the printing shop and just ask them to do it but it will cost us more than we will earn so why not improvise? Thanks to our hands, to our fingers that suffered a lot while doing this invitation. The joyful feeling after the pain, those sleepless nights to finish cutting it, the blisters and burns we have that time and the adrenaline rush to perfectly deliver it on time was all paid off by the wide and sweet smile of our client.

This what made us think of what to name the future company, Just A Snapwhere dreams do come true! (I’m alone now tho since my partner is so busy and we are far from each other)

Lesson learned? Use machine hahaha..

Team effort and hardworking will surely bring you to success! And cheers to the now happily married clients of us! Yay!

IG: instagram.com/injustasnap

You can contact me if you want me to do the same thing or if you have idea you may want to input as your invitation. I’ll be willing to assist you! (hahaha blog + business it is!)