Two years ago, taking my own life came across my mind because of depression from losing my father. I’m a papa’s girl. No one noticed it. Well, I wore the mask perfectly that time that’s why.
But how can you really notice a person who is suicidal? How can you know if a person is really having a hard time while laughing with you and doing normal things like they used to? Below are some of the list, based on my experience, that can help you see or feel if someone is considering to end their lives, especially if you know that person (close or not)
Smiling lips but sad eyes. You can just see it, especially if you are really close to that person. Usually, sad eyes looks like you are having a flu.
Suddenly becomes a quiet person. The person is abnormally calm.
Likes to be alone most of the time.
Always out of energy. Always wants to sleep, because sleep is their escape from the pain they are feeling.
Staring blankly at something. Staring at your face as if the person is memorizing what you look like.
Food or liquor becomes their bestfriend.
Always irritated. Always Impulsive
Most of their posts on their social media accounts are all about loneliness, feeling alone and sarcasm.
Unusual activities from their everyday life.
They will start to just reminisce the good old times and just sigh a lot of times. Talking as if it’s their last.
Those are the things I felt when I’m in that stage. How did I get out from it?
I started to realized that yeah, I lost my dad but then, would he be happy if I follow him sooner? NO. I also realized that I still have my mom and my brother with me. I don’t want to add another pain while their wounds are still open and fresh. It’s a sin to take your own life.
Actually people that are suicidal are always giving hints to see if they are really important and if people really do care and love them. If you think that something is not right with your friends or family well, there’s something is not really right. You wouldn’t think of that if you didn’t notice something from them right?
Some just wanted to take their own life to free themselves from the hardships they are going through, from the heartbreak they are going through. But is it really that easy to leave the people who believe and care for you behind? Is it really worth it to block the opportunity and the chance for you to be happy again? It’s not easy to say things like this, BUT, if you are in this situation or you are thinking of this please…please, ask yourself first. “Will I be happy after I’ve done this?”, “Will there be any difference?”, “What if I still have a chance?” and tell to yourself, “I want to be happy”
ALWAYS talk to your family and friends, or to some random people just to let you vent out. Do not fight the battle alone, it’s okay not to be okay. Cry it out. Remove the heavy thing that’s hurting and bothering you. PRAY. Ask for guidance and peace of mind and heart. Easy to say yes, but suicide should not be an option to get out or to escape. All we need to do is think before we act, realize before we act.
My inbox is always open, you can send me a private message if you want someone to talk to.
I’ve been active in blogging for almost a year now, and it’s really amazing!
My very first blog was last 2015, when I came back here in UAE for a job. If you haven’t read “Where It All Begins” then you might get confused if you’ve read “Life As An Overseas Worker” first. But what’s more confusing is this statement hahaha! Anyway, I deleted my first blog because I’m not confident enough and doubting myself if what I’m doing is right and okay.
Fast forward to 2019, I started blogging, still not confident but I don’t doubt on myself anymore. I cannot please everyone, I cannot blog based on what people really expected in a blog but I’m trying. I blog because I want to motivate people, I want to share my experiences and maybe give some light to some people who are experiencing and experienced what I’ve been thru. I might blog something that’s too personal to blog or might post a topic that is really unattractive for some people. My vocabulary is limited.
But I really love blogging, I love conveying my feelings through blogs.
Especially the blogging and writing community. I’m really grateful and thankful for the community. I’ve talked and established a relationship with other bloggers from different countries. I haven’t personally meet anyone from the community yet, but I really care for those people. OMG why am I in tears? hahaha I’m just grateful for having friends like you guys, for treating me nice and for spending time to talk to me. The connection and not being easily judged. I’m overwhelmed from the support I’ve been receiving, from the friendship you are giving, from the trust and most especially for accepting me not just as Yourstrulie but as Liezl. You guys are the best! I cannot express in words how thankful I’am to be a part of this community. I love you guys and from the bottom of my heart:
Those are the languages I know in saying Thank you, I don’t want to google it and the list might be long enough we will take a couple of more hours just to read it hahaha!
I really do appreciate you guys.I will always have your back! I will always be here to support you. I will always walk the journey with you.
Yourstrulie now signing off…
Joooooooooke!! Will never happen ofcourse, loving the community and there’s no reason to sign off yet. 🙂
Are people classified based on the color of the skin? Can a person judge another person by his color instead of his personality and character? Is it okay to mock and bully someone because they are somehow not of your own color and has a different language?
I mentioned in my previous post, “Life As An Overseas Worker”, that I was racially profiled. Because I’m Asian, some people see me as an ingrate, a gold digger– a person who will do anything for money. Some see me as a sex worker. Some will question my true intention. And some will treat me differently from others because I’m Asian. Just last March, I was told to “Just find an old white man.” It seems like she thinks I’m after an American guy for my convenience and advantage. Just because I dated a guy who happens to be an American doesn’t mean I’m after him because of where he came from.
I’m still fortunate compared to others who are being racially profiled with violence attached to it. Some are wrongfully convicted and harassed, why? Because they are black. Some are being bullied at work and by customers, why? Because they are Hispanic. Some are being maltreated, why? Because they are Asian, especially now that there’s a battle versus COVID-19. Some are being taken advantage of, why? Because they are Caucasian. Some are being feared of, why? Because they are from the Middle East. Some are being a laughing stock, why? Because they can’t fully communicate in English. And then the cycle will repeat and rotate. All will be shared the same sufferings.
Your words and actions show your true color. Just because you are different from others doesn’t mean you are above them or below them. Words, laughter, and the way you look can kill a person.
Self-entitlement cannot save a person from dying. A person who comes up with his own “privilege” will be soon forgotten. Arrogance will forever be a person’s ID but being righteous will forever be engraved in everyone’s heart and memory.
Racism might not end as the past generations already classified us by the color of our skin and by the shape of our tongue, we cannot change that, it’s already in our history books. But what we can change is the future by being the true judge of the true colors, by being used to the word “equality” and by accepting one another regardless of where they came from, regardless of their ethnicity and regardless of their colors.
No one is born a racist, it was taught by others. If you can learn racism, for sure you can learn equality and the difference between acceptance, prejudice and ignorance. It’s your call.
What comes to your mind whenever you hear the word ‘Self Care’?
For me? Well, it’s about taking care of yourself not only physically but mentally, emotionally and spiritually. You need to take care of yourself from within so you can happily glow physically.
Eat healthily and properly. You should be eating lots of fruits and vegetables, they have the proper nutrients that our body needs. I wouldn’t recommend eating chips and the likes but, you can also have those in moderation. Drink lots of water, it will make you fight cravings and hunger and will make your skin glow as it will hydrate you. Don’t deprive your self when it comes to food, especially when you are on a diet. Eat and be healthy.
Exercise at least an hour a day. You don’t have to go to the gym so you can work out, you can simply do jogging or brisk walking around your house, at the park or you can watch workout videos and do it inside your home. Stretch your muscles every day.
Take a bath. This is so basic and, I know all of us are doing it. I, myself is taking a bath every day. Twice a day, too much right? Well, I’m taking a bath every morning before going to work, then wash my body before sleeping to remove dirt from being outside all day. You can also use dry shampoo if you don’t want to wet your hair every day.
Skin Care. Use sunblock lotion or facial cream to protect your skin from sunlight. Use lotion to moisturizes your skin. Use a facial mask twice a week or thrice a week to maintain your skin’s glow. Always remove your make-up before going to bed to avoid having pimples and dry skin. Do not prick your pimple, it might get infected and will leave marks on your face. Use once in a while a body scrub so you can remove dead skin from your body.
Pamper Yourself. Go to spa or salon and make your hair and nails done, or avail their massage services.
Sleep. Make sure to have enough and proper sleep. It’s a very powerful process to make you look fresh and lively every day. Also to avoid having an eyebags.
Stop Pitying Yourself. Easy to say but it will help you a lot. Pitying yourself will not do any good for you. Instead of doing it, try lifting yourself, say things like ‘It’s fine, I can still do it’ or ‘Oh well, it’s just not for me/ not my time yet’.
Avoid Toxic People. Avoid them, toxic people will just stay in your life just so they can use you as their emotional punching bag and stress reliever. Or use you if they need something from you. Stop. Don’t let them do that to you. It’s fine to help and listen to their issues but, if it’s repetitive and causing you to stress then stop. Tell them upfront that what you are hearing is a cycle and, it’s not helping the both of you.
Don’t Let Your Emotions Eat You. Think of happy memories, it’s okay to feel down and sad but, make sure to end your day with a peaceful you. Always getting upset and grumpy? Go find help from Physical Self Care.
Be Happy. Always choose to be happy and strong. Always choose to smile. Remember, there’s always a rainbow after a rain. So choose the right thing for you.
Guard Your Heart. Always take pre-caution in making someone close to you. Just because the person shows you kindness means that they like you. Kindness, is a natural act, don’t over-read people’s actions. Read between the lines. Don’t be a stone but, put a shield to protect it.
Talk To People. People who are optimistic and are always happy. People who will help you to lift yourself and motivate you to do good for others especially, for your self. Talking to those kinds of people will inspire you but always apply number 5 though.
Read. Always take time to read may it be books, magazines, and comics. You need to enhance your skills and add vocabulary to your list. Or simply read for you to forget your worries in the meantime. You can also do some research, not only you will be occupied but you can gain another knowledge you can use in your daily life.
Listen To Music. It helps you calm your nerves and free some space in your mind. It will make you feel relaxed even if you are doing house chores or anything else while listening to music.
Don’t Over Think. It will give you a headache and sleepless nights. It’s normal to think that hard especially, when it comes to your problem but you cannot solve it by overthinking. Go to Emotional Self Care. You will eventually solve whatever you are thinking and facing. Clear your mind and start thinking of how to overcome it, not why you are facing it.
Pray. Talk to him, no matter where you are and no matter what time is it. He will listen to you. You might not get the answers to your questions for now but definitely He heard you and have plans for you. You might receive other things than what you prayed for but trust Him. Submit everything to Him and He will give what is best for you.
Those are my self-care tips and advice (unsolicited again hahaha), it would be great if you could give me lists to add on mine.
After a short hiatus regarding blog posts (“Untitled 2019” isn’t really a blog post, I don’t think so!), I’m back!
How would you guys feel if someone were to approach you and ask you to do an interview with them, which would then be posted on their website or written about on their blog site? Exciting isn’t it?!
I was mentioned in one of the Ovasinax team’s tweets, last October (in 2019); they expressed an interest in featuring me on their website, and so, I sent them a direct message to inquire about that tweet. They replied sooner than expected, explained to me about the interview invitation, and told me the reason why they were interested in interviewing me. It was a thrilling moment for me, and I was so touched by their words regarding my blog posts. I was out of words and was feeling strong emotions because someone had acknowledged my blog posts in a positive way. My blog posts define me as a person… that’s why when someone shows an interest in them, it makes me feel like I’m an important and special person, contented and simply overjoyed.
When I received the questions from the Ovasinax team regarding my interview, I was excited to answer them all… the questions didn’t only focus on my blogging, but also on my overall life/existence in this world. Many of their questions were so nostalgia-inducing… they brought me back to old times and memories that I had of times when I was trying my best to become a better version of myself (I’m still in the process of doing that, by the way!). There were also “rapid-fire” questions that made me feel hyped up while answering them… I imagined answering them in person (face-to-face) while having fun but being pressured by time (and thinking that I needed to talk very fast… haha!). Please take a peek at the SPOTLIGHT tab on the officialOvasinax website, and you will get to know more about me there – regarding both my blogging life and my everyday life.
Later, my interview Q&A was posted on the official Ovasinax website and it went live! I still can’t stop reading through that page… I read it while smiling to myself. I just can’t believe that I’m featured on someone else’s website, not to mention having my own special section on it! I was initially kinda shy about mentioning this interview to my friends and family, but on second thoughts – why wouldn’t I?! So, I told them about it and shared the link on my Social Media accounts, and I’m both proud and thankful for the feature. It’s still surreal that someone did this for me… for “Yourstrulie”! We (the Ovasinax team and I) didn’t know each other to begin with… total strangers who are thousand miles apart… yet, my blog posts and my feelings reached them.
Curious about Ovasinax? It is a game that was created/designed based on memories of the creators’ youthful times, especially focusing on thoughts of young adult pool-parties… Ovasinax is a tandem sprint race that features a man running or walking as fast as he can in a swimming pool while a woman stands and sits on his shoulders (this is during competition with two other male-female pairs), and this game also serves to promote – competition, fitness motivation, and expressions of bright personalities (when possible).
The Ovasinax game and website were designed by Jerome and Lucy who, by the way, have been happily married for 12 years now, are in their 40s, and are still kicking the sports that they both love; they are Canadians of Asian origin (Sri Lankan and Filipino heritage, respectively). Jerome and Lucy both work in the medical field… we all know how tight the schedules of people who work in this field can be, but these two still manage to enjoy traveling; they also appreciate cold weather – which is just perfect for a cuddle – and are very fond of animals, especially cats. Their hobbies include reading and writing, which explains why they pay attention to blogs and blog posts.
The Ovasinax team is constantly promoting and supporting me, which is a very big help in terms of expanding my network and helping my blog posts to become known by people around the globe; they also don’t ask for anything from me in return. Still, I decided to do an interview, and this time, it will be with them in the spotlight. They actually didn’t want to do it, but I insisted and told them that it’s my way of showing my gratitude to them. So, without further ado….
Question: How did you come across my blog posts? Answer: We came across your blog site and your blog posts after we came across your tweets and your whole Twitter account; since you are clearly very engaging and popular on Twitter, we then checked out your blog posts and were very impressed by your openness, sweetness, purpose, and heart (all of which you display whenever you write/compose).
Question: When did you make the decision to feature me on the official Ovasinax website? Why? Answer: We decided to ask you if you would like to be interviewed by us (and be featured on a special page on the official Ovasinax website), very soon after we read your magnetic blog posts. The reasons for wanting to feature you on the official Ovasinax website were – you seemed to have a great personality, you are certainly an up-and-coming blogger, you (we felt sure) would be honest & detailed in your interview answers, and you are very beautiful.
Question: Out of all of my blog posts, which most caught your attention or interest? Why? Answer: All of your blog posts are interesting, and the two that captivated us the most were – “The Warmth Of Armenia” and “Love, Future You!”. The reasons for those two posts being especially interesting were – the first one was a great travel-based post with gorgeous pictures and nice anecdotes, while the second one had important and inspiring pieces of general life advice.
Question: How and where did Ovasinax get started? Answer: Ovasinax got started in our minds, based on thoughts of younger “party” days… the concept was expanded upon (and the rules & regulations were created) by us in Canada, although since Canada is a relatively cold country, Ovasinax has unsurprisingly gained most interest in warmer parts of the world (like Australia).
Question: What is your main goal regarding Ovasinax and how do you think it will help people who play it? Answer: Our main goal regarding Ovasinax is for it to keep on growing and gaining popularity in more parts of the world (hopefully, it can eventually get onto TV screens worldwide, too!). Ovasinax is a great way for couples to train together, bond with each other, motivate/challenge each other, and stay fit together… plus – it is romantic!
Question: How do you describe the best feeling you have had, regarding Ovasinax? Answer: The best feeling that we have had (re: Ovasinax), so far is – pride while seeing more and more people in different countries becoming interested in this game and trying to play it, write about it, film videos about it, and tell other people about it.
The Ovasinax team consists of such good-hearted people; their pieces of advice and their suggestions motivate me to do better. From strangers to friends! From “someone” to mentors! Glad that they came across my blog posts, and glad to have them in every chapter of Yourstrulie’s journey!
Christmas is the time of the year where families gather around to celebrate, catch up, exchange gifts and have fun, not to mention the unlimited laughter and food. Unfortunately I’m not with them—5 years in a row!
Living in a different country makes it more difficult to make my family happy especially when video calls are blocked. With the help of my cousin who is also living here but in a different state, I decided to surprise them and give them small gifts.
My cousin went home to the Philippines to celebrate Christmas with her family and my gifts are with her. Fast forward on Christmas eve. I was really nervous and kept on asking my cousins and relatives if they started the party already. Then my brother sent me a greeting message. I was typing my reply when he sent me another one saying thank you. I got excited and called them, my brother was literally in a high pitched tone and kept on saying thank you as he was really not expecting it, he even asked me where did I get my money from hahaha! Then I heard my mom crying and saying Thanks as well, she was worried and kept on telling me to buy things and think of myself as well.
Here’s the video of my surprise to them ( It’s in my language tho, I know some of you won’t understand it but you can clearly see their reactions, and just a note, my brother’s foot was kinda swollen and injured from playing volleyball )
My brother was really annoyed when he opened the first gift tho and he just told that I’m such an insult lol! They didn’t think that I will be having a gift for them on Christmas as my uncle already handed them “what they thought are the only things I bought for them”.
I can’t stop watching it ’til now. My heart melts seeing their smiles and reaction. I may be far and not with them but their happiness is more than enough for me to keep going and fight the battle of life.
I know my dad is proud of me and I know, he is guiding me that’s why my life is much easier than before. I just wish I can see him smile, hug him so tight, kiss him on the cheek and greet him one last time. I just wish to be with you dad!
Christmas is all about giving but for me everyday is Christmas day as we should give and put a smile on a person’s face. May it be close to you or a total stranger. It’s also not about what and how expensive things we should give to them. It’s the thought that counts is what they always say! Their happiness and smiles will surely be engraved in our hearts forever. A simple act can really touch a person’s heart.
It may be late but I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and Happy New Year in advance!
Hardships are part of our lives, whether we like it or not.It might make you strong or might make you want to give up. It depends on how we take those hardships and how we deal with it. I myself encountered so many hardships and still experiencing them. There are times where I really just want to give up but the list below are the thing’s I’ve done to endure everything for the sake of my family and especially for the sake of myself.
Think Twice Before You Act, Before You Speak. Learn how to weigh the situation before you take an action. Always think of the consequences, will it be good for you or will it further damage you? Thinking before opening your mouth wouldn’t hurt, instead it will teach you to be witty and patient.
Shrugged It Off. When you are about to give up the last straw that you are holding after all the things you’ve been through, well stop right there! You’ve endured a lot already why give up now? You suffered already why not continue it?I mean, you should fight on your suffering or just shrugged it off and tell to yourself “One more time buddy, let’s show who really the boss is!” In my language “Todo na ‘to!”, meaning push yourself further.
Stick To Your Goals. Just because you are not achieving your goals yet you will create a new set of goals. No. Believe me it will only hurt you. Stick to your goals, even if there’s so many trials and the roads are rough, if you set your mind on achieving it you will achieve it. And once you achieved your set of goals, you can make another one if you want.
One At A Time. Multi-tasking is good, it will help you finish on time and train you to work with minimal supervision with accurate outcome. BUT don’t multi-task on handling your problems and dealing with the hardships you are currently going through. Solving life problems is similar to solving math problems. You need to solve the first one before you move to the next one until you finish it all. Solving problems all at the same time will give you sleepless nights and endless headaches. Solve one problem but do not forget the others. Be cautious and always let yourself breathe.
Don’t Pity Yourself. Stop making yourself more depressed and stressed, what you are going through are enough, don’t add and stir drama. Pitying yourself will only make the situation worst, you won’t be able to move forward and it will be too late to go back. So self pity will just leave you hanging in the air, lost and demotivated. Stand strong and don’t let yourself down, Always think you are still fortunate compared to other people who are suffering worst than you are but still managing to fight the battle and never loses hope.
Love Of Families And Friends. Never be embarrassed of what is happening to you, don’t keep it by yourself. Talk to your families and friends, even if they can’t help you financially, they can help you emotionally. Money cannot buy the sincerity and care by the people who truly love you. Sure money is important but their love, support, effort, understanding and words can keep you calm and stay strong and motivated. A hug from them is more than enough to fight.
Believe In Yourself. Just what like Sailor Venus says “Just believe in yourself and nobody can’t beat you!”, Your self is your own enemy. So just keep on moving forward and help yourself go through those hardships. Even if no one believes in you, you need to believe in your self and prove them wrong. Believing what you are capable of is the best way to achieve your goals and endure any hardships that will come to you.
Talk To Him. Submit everything to HIM. HE knows what your heart truly desires. No matter where you are and what you are doing, you can always talk to HIM and ask for peace of mind, heart and guidance.
I talked about giving up is sometimes a good thing in my previous post, but that situation is different, so in life and in this post I will say that you should not give up. Problems and hardships are included in our life already from the very first day when we were born. You just have to play the game well and not be eaten by negative aura and demons. Always look at the brighter side. And remember, after battling with those hardships, good things will start to come.
There’s a rainbow always after the rain. Always keep that in mind and in your heart.
Have you ever been in a toxic and abusive relationship with someone? Have you tried fixing it or you are just inlove with the idea of being in a relationship and ignored the signs and red flags?
Couples at the beginning are full of love and joy, smile and laughters are endless. Those dates and late hang outs makes your heart flutter. Those hugs and kisses are too hard to end–until you came to know each other too well.
I have been in a toxic relationship before and thankfully not abusive but I can tell that you will not realize it’s toxic unless you are totally out of that relationship. Signs that you are in a toxic relationship (abused POV):
It’s always your fault no matter what he/she did to you (talking about physically and mentally, let’s add emotionally), it’s always your fault. You always feel at fault all the time.
You are mad at him/her when he/she cheated on you or do something bad but fall for him/her even harder when he/she “explained” to you and denied everything.
You put him/her first before anyone else. Before anything else, even if it means loosing your dreams and goals especially your life and career.
You don’t respect yourself anymore and just beg for his/her forgiveness, beg for him/her to not go (top of the list!)
You know the truth but still choose to be blinded by your love ( or is it really love?)
You will seek advice and comfort from your friends but won’t listen and choose to stay with him/her even you know for yourself it’s not healthy anymore. Even if it means losing your friends and family.
How to get away with it? Well it’s not easy, some people are abusive either, emotionally or physically. It’s even harder if it’s both. It may be easy to say this and I know it is hard:
But always trust your guts, don’t wait until it’s too late.
ALWAYS LOVE YOURSELF FIRST.
It’s okay to be afraid, it’s fine if you are afraid of him/her but always remember you have friends and family you can run in to.
It’s hard but you have to help yourself, you have to step up for yourself and for your future.
Don’t be denial and delusional. It’s hard to do this but you have to give it a try. Think of your happy times before you met him/her. You are happy even before he/she came to your life so you could do it also even when he/she isn’t there anymore.
Go out and have some fun, breathe some air and laugh (don’t laugh alone please lol). Don’t sulk in and don’t let depression eat you.
Always remember you are loved by many.
It’s really hard to get out of a toxic and unhealthy relationship, you just have to stay strong for your dreams and future with your family and friends. Be vocal, even if you can see your friends and family getting irritated and annoyed when you open your mouth to talk about him/her, it’s fine. They are not mad at you, they are concerned to the point of saying hurtful words to you just so you wake up from the nightmare you allowed to dream of. It’s okay to give up, sometimes giving up is not a sign of being a coward, sometimes it’s a sign of being strong because you are getting your self out from the situation that may drag you down. Especially when you are fighting to save your relationship yet he/she isn’t.
Giving up your life? Getting tired of it? Nahhh– run to your friends and family, they will give you a lot of reason to move forward.