Loving A Heartbreak

Having a broken heart is the worst feeling you can ever experience. You will feel tightness, heaviness and actual pain in your chest and stomach. As if someone tries to burn your heart. As if someone is pounding at your heart. May it be heartbreak from breaking up with your partner, feeling alone and lost, losing your friends and family members and the likes.

But I believe in loving a heartbreak, weird isn’t it? Why would people need to love it when they want to get over it? But that is the logic of it, you have to love it so you can get over it (unless you really don’t want to get over it and just ruin your self for someone who cannot stop damaging you).

How to do it? Below is my opinion on how to:

  1. Acceptance – you have to wake up and face the reality, accepting that your time with someone has already ended. I know that it’s hard to accept the fact that someone broke your heart, it’s hard to accept that what you had with someone is not special anymore, it’s hard to accept that you lost someone forever, but know what’s harder? To be trapped inside the world you created just to please someone who just doesn’t care. To be waiting for someone who doesn’t have any plans on returning. Feel the pain, it will help you to open your eyes and there, you will start to accept everything.
  2. Forgiveness – forgiving someone who isn’t sorry is the bravest thing you can do. It’s a hard step to do, but very lightest way to move on. Forgive yourself as well, just because the person broke your heart that doesn’t mean you haven’t done anything wrong. Assess yourself and forgive yourself. Forgive yourself but never doubt yourself, you are more than enough. Forgive yourself for being in that situation. Just like the old saying says “Forgive and forget”. Forgiving someone is not easy, it needs a right time. Don’t hurry things up, time will come and automatically you will give that to the person and to your self.
  3. Don’t regret – don’t regret or think you have wasted your time hanging out with someone who ended up breaking your heart. You enjoyed those times together, you smiled, you laughed and you loved every bits of that moment so why regret things? Instead of wasting your time and energy regretting about it, start to think about what you have learned and how it molded you to be a strong person than before. Always opt for number 1 and it will be easier.
  4. Let go – let it all go and move on. Easier said than done, but you have to let go. Don’t hold grudges to someone because you will end up hurting yourself. It’s fine to be mad at them because you have a reason and it’s normal but you have to let go. Don’t hold on and cling to someone who wants to walk away, let them go. Learn to value yourself.

It’s okay to be sad, it’s okay to be mad, it’s okay to be heartbroken but loving all of it will give you peace of mind and heart, and a realization in life.

Always remember, it’s okay not to be okay, it’s normal to feel pain.

Loving a heartbreak will teach you that everything takes time and effort. Loving a heartbreak will make you stronger. Loving a heartbreak will open a new door for you, a new path to walk with to a better future and better you.

Self Care In The Pursuit Of The Glowing You

What comes to your mind whenever you hear the word ‘Self Care’?

For me? Well, it’s about taking care of yourself not only physically but mentally, emotionally and spiritually. You need to take care of yourself from within so you can happily glow physically.

Physical Self-Care

  1. Eat healthily and properly. You should be eating lots of fruits and vegetables, they have the proper nutrients that our body needs. I wouldn’t recommend eating chips and the likes but, you can also have those in moderation. Drink lots of water, it will make you fight cravings and hunger and will make your skin glow as it will hydrate you. Don’t deprive your self when it comes to food, especially when you are on a diet. Eat and be healthy.
  2. Exercise at least an hour a day. You don’t have to go to the gym so you can work out, you can simply do jogging or brisk walking around your house, at the park or you can watch workout videos and do it inside your home. Stretch your muscles every day.
  3. Take a bath. This is so basic and, I know all of us are doing it. I, myself is taking a bath every day. Twice a day, too much right? Well, I’m taking a bath every morning before going to work, then wash my body before sleeping to remove dirt from being outside all day. You can also use dry shampoo if you don’t want to wet your hair every day.
  4. Skin Care. Use sunblock lotion or facial cream to protect your skin from sunlight. Use lotion to moisturizes your skin. Use a facial mask twice a week or thrice a week to maintain your skin’s glow. Always remove your make-up before going to bed to avoid having pimples and dry skin. Do not prick your pimple, it might get infected and will leave marks on your face. Use once in a while a body scrub so you can remove dead skin from your body.
  5. Pamper Yourself. Go to spa or salon and make your hair and nails done, or avail their massage services.
  6. Sleep. Make sure to have enough and proper sleep. It’s a very powerful process to make you look fresh and lively every day. Also to avoid having an eyebags.

Emotional Self-Care

  1. Stop Pitying Yourself. Easy to say but it will help you a lot. Pitying yourself will not do any good for you. Instead of doing it, try lifting yourself, say things like ‘It’s fine, I can still do it’ or ‘Oh well, it’s just not for me/ not my time yet’.
  2. Avoid Toxic People. Avoid them, toxic people will just stay in your life just so they can use you as their emotional punching bag and stress reliever. Or use you if they need something from you. Stop. Don’t let them do that to you. It’s fine to help and listen to their issues but, if it’s repetitive and causing you to stress then stop. Tell them upfront that what you are hearing is a cycle and, it’s not helping the both of you.
  3. Don’t Let Your Emotions Eat You. Think of happy memories, it’s okay to feel down and sad but, make sure to end your day with a peaceful you. Always getting upset and grumpy? Go find help from Physical Self Care.
  4. Be Happy. Always choose to be happy and strong. Always choose to smile. Remember, there’s always a rainbow after a rain. So choose the right thing for you.
  5. Guard Your Heart. Always take pre-caution in making someone close to you. Just because the person shows you kindness means that they like you. Kindness, is a natural act, don’t over-read people’s actions. Read between the lines. Don’t be a stone but, put a shield to protect it.
  6. Talk To People. People who are optimistic and are always happy. People who will help you to lift yourself and motivate you to do good for others especially, for your self. Talking to those kinds of people will inspire you but always apply number 5 though.

Mental Self-Care

  1. Read. Always take time to read may it be books, magazines, and comics. You need to enhance your skills and add vocabulary to your list. Or simply read for you to forget your worries in the meantime. You can also do some research, not only you will be occupied but you can gain another knowledge you can use in your daily life.
  2. Listen To Music. It helps you calm your nerves and free some space in your mind. It will make you feel relaxed even if you are doing house chores or anything else while listening to music.
  3. Don’t Over Think. It will give you a headache and sleepless nights. It’s normal to think that hard especially, when it comes to your problem but you cannot solve it by overthinking. Go to Emotional Self Care. You will eventually solve whatever you are thinking and facing. Clear your mind and start thinking of how to overcome it, not why you are facing it.

Spiritual Self-Care

  1. Pray. Talk to him, no matter where you are and no matter what time is it. He will listen to you. You might not get the answers to your questions for now but definitely He heard you and have plans for you. You might receive other things than what you prayed for but trust Him. Submit everything to Him and He will give what is best for you.

Those are my self-care tips and advice (unsolicited again hahaha), it would be great if you could give me lists to add on mine.

Take care of yourself, friend! xoxo

photo: https://www.instagram.com/johnemeraldlirasan17/

I’m Hurt But I’m Worthy!

“Am I not worthy?”

Have you asked yourself this kind of question?If yes, have you found the answer? What made you ask yourself this kind of question? Are you in pain? Are you okay?

I’m always asking myself this kind of question, most especially when I’m scrolling and scanning my timeline. The people who are close to my heart fitfully hurt me, or maybe I’m just so sensitive I tend to overthink and get jealous easily. I don’t know. My birthday has passed by and I hide my birthdate on my profile so no one can know, except for those people who really remember and knows it by heart. I’m getting few messages from my family until my uncle’s wife greeted me by posting it on my timeline then rest who saw it greeted me as well and posted my old pictures with them. There are few who greeted me but I know they are genuine. A month after, it was one of my childhood friend’s birthday, lot’s of people greeted her and I got jealous and sad when I saw some people who I truly love and care for greeted her. Those people didn’t even greeted me the way they greeted her, some didn’t greet me at all! Talk about years (when I say years it means yeeeeaaaaaaarrrrrrs) of friendship. I started doubting my worth to them, I started to distance myself again to them. Shallow isn’t it? Maybe I just expected them to care for me the way I want them to. Same month I had a petty fight with one of my friend because of my T-shirt she misinterpreted my joke and I sarcastically like her post in social media, after that incident I asked my self the same question. I caught my ex-boyfriend cheating on me many times even after being faithful and loyal to him (read Thank You Ex!). Is this only my worth to them? I started to doubt my self. I started to regret things. I started to count the things I’ve done for them.

My heart aches while writing this blog, I feel my heart is being crushed by something I can’t describe. It feels as if it’s going to explode any moment. I’m tired of proving my self to other. I’m tired or proving my worth to others. I’m tired of pretending I’m not hurt when I truly does. I’m just tired.

I’m hurting yes but, I’m thinking of what my friend told me, “Don’t ever doubt your self worth, You’re worth is more than enough, You are worthy.” Yes he is right. I’am worthy. I’m feeling down, feeling tired and emotionally exhausted and it’s normal, but I should also help myself to get out from these emotions I’m feeling now. Keep on thinking that you are worthy. You know your worth. WE know our worth. We just have to breathe and stay positive. It’s okay to let it out once in a while. Looking at the brighter side of the darkest situation you might be and currently facing. And the most important part? Think of your family who loves you unconditionally.

“Your worth is more than what you think of. Don’t think your worth is equivalent to the word JUST, because you are not. You are worthy!”

Cliche: Perfectly Imperfect

Nowadays people are having a hard time building confidence and accepting their own flaws. Why? Because there are some people out there that instead of helping you build your confidence, they will point out your flaws and start making fun of it.

I’ll be honest, as in really really honest on this blog. My confidence is not that high, I don’t know if it’s an average or below average level of being confident. I don’t have the face like an angel, I don’t have the body like a model, I don’t have the talent like any artists has. I’m “overweight” and most people around me seems like to have a problem with that. I’ve been called for so many names, “Pork”, “Wild Boar”, “Whale Shark”, “Puffer Fish” and the likes. When I’m moving and bump or hit someone accidentally they will say “You’re so big that’s why”, when I feel hungry and tell people about that I’ll just hear them saying “What’s new?That’s why you are big because you keep on eating.”, if I’m on diet and suddenly eats half of small chicken without rice or bread or anything they will say “Aren’t you on diet?Why are you eating?”, whenever I’m looking to some clothes and people noticed it they will just say “It won’t look good on you because that is only for slim people”. It hurts, and I’m offended of those harsh comments. For some people, it’s just a joke. It’s their way of motivating you. But does it help? For me, not all the time it works. I’m hurt of what I’ve heard from those people and my personality, the more I get hurt, the more I get stressed the more I eat. Reverse psychology doesn’t help all the time. People will think ‘I will say negative things about you so you’ll get motivated’—– stop! Think before you speak.

My unsolicited advice for those who think pointing out ones flaws help:

  1. Never ever call us names not intended for us. Our parents gave us name for petesake! (unless it’s an endearment for you to be called out pig or pork or whale shark or fat ass! you can joke at us once or twice but think, is it really funny?or it’s kinda offensive?). This also applies to those who are petite and slim.(Don’t call them stick, bamboo, lizard or the likes)
  2. Don’t blame our body if we accidentally bump or hit you. Look at the space, is it wide or narrow?
  3. Everyone has the same feeling, just because we don’t have the same size doesn’t mean we don’t have the right to be hungry, wear swim suit and wear whatever clothes we want so don’t degrade us if we want to do something or eat something.
  4. Don’t over react if you saw our pimple/s popping out or reddish, it’s normal. You won’t get the bacteria unless you touch it. Everyone can have a pimple.
  5. Don’t laugh if our make-up is not good and have uneven eyebrows or eyeliners. Instead, teach us how to properly use them, how to properly even those uneven.
  6. Instead of saying bad things about our appearance, why not say “Hey, I’m going for a jog, wanna come along. It’s fun to have someone jogging with”, “You’re on diet?Great! Let me help you search a meal plan for you, dieting is not about eating less, it’s about eating healthy!”, “This one will look more good on you”, “I’m using this skin care products you can try them if you want, maybe the one you are using doesn’t suit your skin type” or just any positive words that will definitely boost our confidence and motivate us. Support us not demoralise us.
  7. Think before you speak. Words can kill just so you know. Give us inspiration not depression.

And my unsolicited advice for my fellow low self-esteemed people:

  1. If you hear something that’s not really good for your ear?Let it just slip through your ears. I know it’s hard but you should also help yourself and try.
  2. Eat whatever you want to eat as long as it’s for your own good.
  3. You are not fat, you are just easy to see. You are not slim/petite you are just cute for their size. So don’t sit and cry at the corner.
  4. Don’t dwell too much on what they are saying. You don’t have to change because of them. Change because you want to improve yourself. Be your own enemy.
  5. Talk to your family and friends, they will joke on you yes but they always got your back.
  6. Voice out what you want to answer to them but in a nice and witty way, don’t get provoked. Don’t get into a fight, it’s not worth it. Let them see that your manners are not like theirs.
  7. Be yourself and be happy. Surround yourself with true, loving and optimistic people. It will be of great help.
  8. If you want to be accepted. Accept yourself first. Love yourself. Embrace your flaws, help yourself and never ever doubt yourself.

I really don’t know what is the key to be an above average confident, but I’m in the process of having it. Thanks to the people who shows support and genuine care. I’m currently on diet, and hopefully I can share the process I’m doing (if this one doesn’t fail!hahah!) with you.